


Boy in Chains

by ryans_triops



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Blowjobs, Bondage, Cocaine, Couch Sex, Dacryphilia, Fluff, Hotel Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lapdance, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, NSFW, Other, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, References to Drugs, Rough Sex, Ryden, Strip Tease, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Unsafe Sex, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-07-30 17:40:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20101087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryans_triops/pseuds/ryans_triops
Summary: Ryan paused and thought about the choice he was completely unprepared to make.He could easily leave now. He would never have to come back. He could leave clean with his virginity still intact and never look back. He didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want and he could wait for someone else equally virginal.He could share in a first time with someone unused, untouched, untainted.Or this.





	1. The Boy

**Author's Note:**

> All due respect to the characters irl. This is just a fic based off them because I have no originality for character sketches.
> 
> In a lot of parts aside from being a shorter story I don’t really go much in depth to Ryan’s emotions in the heat of the moment because in this AU he has anxiety. This doesn’t allow him much time to think in depth about things too much on the spot. You’ll get more insight into Ryan when he’s alone and thinking, as per typical introvert musings.
> 
> Feedback is appreciated. I have no affiliation with strippers or their work environment so I’m welcome to correction of inaccuracies.

Ryan didn’t really want to go out that night.

He would’ve been perfectly content to have a quiet little party with a few of his closest friends and enjoy the final hours of his twenty-first birthday drinking in good company.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t how his night would go.

Now that the youngest of Ryan’s five close buddies was finally of age, they all had made the mutual decision to finally visit a strip club as a group.

Much to Ryan’s dismay.

It wasn’t that he didn’t care to have fun with his friends or entertain the possibility of a private show.

Ryan was simply awkward and had never been anywhere raunchier than a public gay club.

His friends knew he was gay although he had never really forwardly mentioned it.

When they all had girlfriends, he had a picture in his wallet of Zac Efron in a speedo, and nobody was judging.

It wasn’t too far off in his mind as he did up the last button of his shirt and grabbed his hair straightener, mindful of its heat as he carefully ran it through his unruly locks of hair.

He had no idea how to dress, or how his friends would be dressed for the occasion, so he settled with something simple but not underdressed.

Unlike the people he’d soon be seeing pole dancing 80% naked most likely. He had no intention of looking like one of them.

Ryan checked his phone after he turned off the flattening iron and saw the text that the guys would be there to pick him up in a few minutes.

He tucked his phone in the pocket of his slacks and sprayed some cologne on his collarbones, taking one more look in the mirror with smudged eyeliner and decided he looked alright.

He waited outside until his friends pulled up. Ryan put on his friendliest smile and tried not to seem too anxious. He greeted everyone in the van as he climbed into the passenger seat and let his mind drift with the conversation.

_Little Darlings_ was the name of the club they were going to. It was on Western Avenue of Las Vegas.

Alex had managed to get discounted admissions for them all through a mutual friend who was a friend of the owner of the club. The club was full nude, only catch was no alcohol was allowed.

In other places they could show off their assets to keep the liquor rolling, but here there would only be complementary soft drinks and a good show.

It was becoming a pro-bisexual strip club, which was why it was selected for Ryan’s birthday, as all men and women could get a nice slice of their own preference.

Ryan anxiously fumbled with his seatbelt after they got parking and piled up to the entrance. The sun was still casting many colors in the sky even though it was almost nine p.m.

Alex showed the bouncer their admissions and they all showed identification as they went in. The place was large and flashy with techno music, neon lights, and large tables.

There were already men and women occupying a lot of the space. Ryan thought the place carried the stench of sex and cannabis, but he knew he could tough it out for at least an hour.

He heard an excited exclamation from Gabe, and Dan made an indistinguishable comment aside to him which he simply smiled and nodded to.

There were women already showing off, walking around the tables, posing, teasing.

They were still partially dressed, to Ryan’s relief. The nude hours hadn't begun just yet.

Alex asked Ryan if he wanted anything to drink. He settled for a sprite and then followed Nick to a smaller table to grab a seat.

He nervously fidgeted with his hands and momentarily thought back to about how this never would’ve been acceptable to even think of when he was younger and attending church.

He tried not to think of that now.

Gabe was already hyped as the curvaceous women started coming out one by one. Ryan cringed a little and hoped it wasn’t going to get too messy.

He could see the exits from where he was, and if something went wrong, he knew to trust his gut and leave.

Alex came back with their sodas and they murmured over the music and raving as more people piled in.

Ryan observed as the men crowded around the platforms as the girls pranced around and twerked. It seemed like worship almost, waving their dollar bills in the air and cheering to see more skin.

The woman looked down upon them as if angels looking down from heaven to observe the reptilian creatures of the dirt.

Ryan’s gut twisted a little and he looked away.

He settled for chit-chat with Dan as his other friends easily abandoned them to take advantage of the show.

Dan and Ryan had always been shy and awkward about these things, even though they individually did have their own tasteful selection of images and videos they’d watch in their free time when they felt particularly horny.

As of now they were content in each other’s company.

After a while, even though it got noisier and more crowded, Ryan seemed to warm up to the environment and not pay too much mind to the initial shock of the surroundings. 

It was possible that the constant scent of weed circling the air had also partially got to him.

Eventually Dan had insisted they stand up and look around a bit, not wanting Ryan to stay a wallflower on his birthday.

Ryan hesitated but obliged, following Dan through a dense crowd and trying to remain inconspicuous.

Even though everyone in the crowd was alcohol-free, they all seemed like a bunch of sex-thirsty animals as the strippers got fully nude and started coming down into the crowd.

Ryan kept well out of their way as he stayed within an arm-length of Dan.

He saw a few male strippers as well once they rounded the first stage. Some had neon wax in their beards, one was in full drag makeup, another only had a jockstrap and a bow tie to cover him.

Most definitely not Ryan’s type, but he could humor it for the night.

Dan paused by a beam and decided there was a good place to see everything well.

Ryan stood with his right shoulder barely pressing into Dan, not wanting to get lost in the crowd.

He could see all as people would kiss, touch, grope, dance, scream, and throw money. He looked around desperately for something of good taste or appeal, not wanting the evening to be in vain.

“They’re pretty good, aren’t they?” Dan leaned over Ryan and gestured to two other male strippers in matching bow ties who were a little hunkier and circling the couches.

Ryan nodded, trying to entertain Dan’s comment. “They’re okay.” He shrugged.

Still far too intimidating, although they had some nice features.

He stepped out of the way of some guy who was nearly about to crash into him. The man was rather overdressed and walked around like he was someone of great importance. Others moved out of his way as well, Ryan observed.

He must’ve been the pimp.

“How long are we going to be here?” Ryan shouted to Dan over the now deafening music. He could feel the bassline in his chest, making his anxiety flare up and his gut feel a little cramped.

“Why? Don’t like it?” Dan frowned.

Ryan bit his tongue. “Nothing. Never mind.”

He looked around some more. He got startled as some random obese guy started slowly undressing one item of clothing at a time, for everyone to see, enticed by a completely nude girl who seemed to be teasing.

Ryan wanted to throw up in his mouth.

Heterosexuals had no decency.

He sighed and was ready to give up when he was tapped on the shoulder by Dan and had his attention directed to the other side of the room.

“Maybe that one is a little more your speed.” He spoke up and pointed across the room to someone Ryan couldn’t quite see.

He craned his neck in desperation, trying to follow Dan’s guide to find any last shred of decency this place had to offer.

Ryan squinted and moved around, then gave up, unable to see where Dan was trying to point out.

Dan had them switch places in one last desperate attempt.

Lo and behold.

Across the room was a boy who looked nothing like the rest.

Not by any means hunky, thick, hairy, or in any way masked.

He was slim and smooth. His lips were curled into a confident grin, nearly a giggle as he scampered through the crowds, seemingly carefree even with all the obscene comments coming in his direction.

As the boy came closer Ryan was able to see he was strapped into a bondage harness that went from his chest all the way down to his thighs. He also had some tattoos on his left arm that Ryan couldn’t quite make out.

His crotch was covered, but even with the rest of his skin on show, he was a very good looking boy. He was very young, he must’ve been only recently old enough to be showing like this.

Dan had been correct in his assumptions, and the boy had captured Ryan’s attention.

As he came closer and closer, Ryan’s chest felt tighter, and suddenly everything else in the club had blurred out.

He only had eyes for that boy.

“If you want to make your move, you’d better do it now.” Dan warned.

“I don’t have VIP.” Ryan said as an excuse not to push himself to interact with the boy.

“It’s on us.” Dan shoved Ryan forward. “Go on, now.”

Ryan have Dan a pleading look, but was only shooed off.

He took in a heavy breath and looked on as the boy got stopped by a few girls who seemed like they were dying to touch him. His skin had a pale glow under the pink lights.

Perfect. Undamaged. Untouched.

Ryan paused and thought about the choice he was completely unprepared to make.

He could easily leave now. He would never have to come back. He could leave clean with his virginity still intact and never look back. He didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want and he could wait for someone else equally virginal.

He could share in a first time with someone unused, untouched, untainted.

Or this.

Ryan had been staring off into the distance way too long, because now the boy was only an arm’s length away from him.

What if he was straight? What if he wasn’t as pretty on the inside as he was on the outside?

Ryan swallowed a lump in his throat as the boy turned his back to flirt with someone else. Ryan caught an eyeful of his ass. Pale, plush, exposed and practically made to be handled.

He also noticed the curve of his spine, the lines of his soft shoulders, his waist and hips...

Ryan knew was in way over his head.

He licked his lips and shakily sighed, ever so slowly shuffling closer to the boy.

Then suddenly he turned around and was smiling as he was about to continue on through the crowd, but Ryan had been standing in his way.

Ryan was stiff in shock.

The boy closed the distance between them and didn’t even seem the slightest bit annoyed that Ryan was blocking his path.

He gave an innocent little smile, his puppy-like eyes looking dreamy as heaven as he mouthed, “Hey darlin.”

Ryan stopped dead, his mouth dripping open the slightest bit because why would a boy like this even acknowledge someone like him? He could’ve easily just flung himself by, but he didn’t.

The realization hit Ryan like a sour candy once he remembered what the boy was really here for.

It was something of a sinking feeling.

“Wanna see more?” The boy purred, stepping into Ryan’s space, cocking his head a little and feigning innocence.

Ryan’s eyes briefly went down to where the boy’s hand touched at the front of his black panties, pressing a couple fingers there and then touching Ryan’s shoulder as he circled around him.

Ryan couldn’t take his eyes off the boy as he rounded him once. His fingertips sent shivers down his sweaty back.

The boy paused in front of him yet again, eyes sparkling and lips grinning. “You game, lover boy?” He mouthed and touched Ryan’s chest, leaving him starstruck.

“I...” Ryan trailed off, looking down to the hand on his chest and up the forearm with a tattoo of piano keys surrounded by flowers.

He wanted a taste.

He choked down his anxiety and nodded nervously, looking to the boy’s eyes.

The stripper seemed satisfied with the answer, pulling away and looking back with a teasing lift of his brows, beckoning Ryan to follow.

Ryan obeyed.

He made his way through the crowd at the heels of the young male. It felt like he was being shouted at too as people would call for the boy he followed.

The guilt sank in and consumed him. He knew he shouldn't have come.

“Come on, come!” The boy sing-songed as he guided Ryan towards the very back of the club.

Once they were past the congested area of the crowd, the boy slipped off into a corner that lead to another area. He shoved back a curtain and beckoned Ryan with his finger.

Ryan picked up his pace and tried to covertly chase after the young male.

He watched as the boy disappeared behind the curtain. He timidly ducked behind it and met eyes with the boy. Ryan could see more clearly in the light, since the stairway wasn’t illuminated with the fancy lighting of the rest of the club.

The boy gently tugged at the collar of Ryan’s shirt teasingly as he went down the stairs to a room in the hallway with an open door, not looking back.

It was Ryan’s turn to take the bait.

He traveled down the the stairs to the hallway, jittery with excitement as he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

The room was soundproof, the music of the club only made the floors slightly vibrate but with no extra noise.

The boy was already standing on a small platform in the middle of the room.

“Have a seat, baby.” He purred and gestured to a gold and black couch.

The walls were red and the platform was black with a pole down the middle.

Ryan went over and took a seat, feeling on edge, but the boy looked warm and inviting enough.

“Want a drink?” The boy asked charmingly, as if trying to seduce Ryan to have one.

“After?” Ryan choked out nervously.

“You got it, baby.” The boy straightened up and smirked. “So what will it be for the loner?”

“Uh...” Ryan trailed off and thought about what he really could take. Maybe he could still keep a little innocence. “Just admission.” He murmured softly.

The stripper didn’t scoff at him for being so basic like he thought he would. Instead, the boy nodded, ready to get on with his little show.

“What’s your name?” Ryan asked softly as the boy started towards the pole.

“Whatever you want it to be, baby.” The boy looked Ryan in the eyes and started grinding on the pole.

He wrapped a leg around it and twirled in a circle, then started really working his body to show off all his best assets.

Ryan watched in awe of this boy. He felt a little choked up, knowing he could easily have made it doing so much better things with his body than one night stands with people who would use him up for a couple hours and not even give a shit the next day.

He was so perfect and stunning.

Ryan wished more for him.

The boy came closer after he was done with his little show. He stepped in front of Ryan, standing in front of him and looking down with beautiful dark eyes.

“Lean back.” The boy coaxed, gently pressing his palm on Ryan’s chest.

Ryan fell back into the couch, barely able to catch his breath, looking up.

“What’s your name, baby?” The boy purred as he slowly climbed into Ryan’s lap.

“R-Ryan.” He choked out, keeping his hands to himself, not wanting to push any of his luck.

“_Ryan, Ryan, Ryan_.” The boy chanted like a song.

Fuck, it sounded so good falling from his lips.

“Wanna help me out of this?” The boy squeaked, tugging at his harness like suddenly the leather had become uncomfortable. Conveniently.

Ryan nodded without a moment’s hesitation, earning a smile as he undid all the buckets there were in the front.

“What’s your name?” Ryan asked again.

His fingers twitched whenever he’d touch the boy’s skin. His breath was speeding up as he tried to move fast and get the harness off.

“Here they call me Nasty Jackson.” The boy’s lips were soft and shiny as he spoke.

He lifted the harness off his head and let it uncover him. Ryan’s eyes went a little wide as the boy completely exposed himself, tossing his harness aside to land on the other couch.

Ryan forgot the importance of the question and partially choked as the boy started to slowly grind on him, making him lose his breath. He felt like he had to cling to the couch cushions, anything to not lay a hand on this boy.

The naked boy hesitated as he started to bounce around in Ryan’s lap, hands resting on his shoulders and gently squeezing, nibbling in his bottom lip.

“Why are you here?” Ryan panted heavily, trying so hard not to let himself give in.

He watched as the boy feigned riding him. He was of a decent size for being soft. His hips were perfectly shaped and his thighs had a good grip as he dry humped Ryan.

“I work here, honey. Is water wet?” The boy shook his head in amusement at Ryan’s naivety. “How ‘bout I give you a good time and you enjoy the show. ‘Kay?”

Ryan nodded.

Okay.

The stripper continued on his little dance for ten minutes, leaving Ryan fully hard and wanting more.

But the time was up for the session Ryan had chosen.

He seemed a little crestfallen as the young male climbed out of his lap, but he was about to get up and leave in his shame when-

“Um.”

The boy’s voice immediately brought Ryan to a halt.

“That’s it? Done already?” He giggled a little.

Ryan felt dumb.

“I... Thought that was it.” Ryan admitted shyly.

“Oh you newbie.” The boy guided him back to his position in the couch. “You’re gonna walk out with that? I have a feeling you won’t.” He said, leaning into Ryan’s space, glancing lustfully from his eyes to his mouth.

Ryan’s breath caught in his throat and he kept his eyes fixated in the boy’s gorgeous lips as he leaned in for a kiss.

It was only a moment before Ryan finally gave in, let his hand go to the back of the other boy’s head, and close his eyes as their lips pressed together.

Fuck, it was so soft.

Ryan hummed against the boy’s mouth, his chest filling with warmth as the other male kissed back passionately.

They stayed like that for a moment before the boy drew back and giggled childishly.

Ryan opened his eyes, all sense leaving him.

“What’s so funny?” He couldn’t help but smile too.

Ryan hadn’t kissed many boys before, just the one boy he had a crush on as a child and one other he’d fallen head over heels for at his first job.

The man had gotten fired soon after, and that was the last Ryan had ever seen of him.

Compared to kissing this boy, neither previous males could’ve ever hoped to match up.

Ryan wanted more.

“Can I hold you?” Ryan breathed out softly. He looked into the boy’s dark, smiley eyes and his heart swelled.

“Of course.” The boy purred, taking a seat once again in Ryan’s lap, squirming a little to tease some more as he wrapped his arms around Ryan’s neck.

Ryan put his hands on the boy’s sides, holding him like a delicate vase as they kissed again. They started pushing against each other with a little more desperation and urgency. Ryan sighed softly and started turning, turning, turning until the other boy was laid on his back beneath him.

Ryan broke the kiss as the shock of reality hit him and his senses momentarily were restored. He looked down at the boy who only met his amazed expression with a confident grin.

The boy wrapped his legs around Ryan, his naked body shifting to accommodate him.

Ryan could feel the boy half-hard against him.

Fuck.

“Gonna fuck me?” The boy bit his bottom lip with sparkly eyes. He wanted Ryan to. Ryan knew that.

Except he couldn’t, despite the tent in his slacks that said otherwise.

“I want to go down on you hard. Then I want you to fuck me and fill me up with your big cock. I want you to cum on my chest and stomach.” The boy purred lustfully, cupping Ryan’s erection and making him gasp at the dirty mental image.

He’d never been spoken to that way in his life, and hearing it for the first time was a bit of a shock to his system.

Ryan ran his hand up and down the other boy’s side as he tried to figure out what he wanted, heavily considering the boy’s offer. He traced his fingertips up the stripper’s thigh and looked down to admire his soft complexion.

He couldn’t do this.

“I...” Ryan trailed off, mesmerized by the boy. “I don’t think...” He swallowed hard as the guilt sank in.

The boy looked disappointed. He opened his mouth to respond, but paused as Ryan met his eyes again.

“Fuck.” Ryan breathed out, tracing his finger down the curve of the boy’s nose and touching his delicate lips. A shaky breath left him and he kissed the other male once more.

Then Ryan pulled away, unable to keep on with the way their bodies were pressed together. He sat upright and tried to get some blood flow back to his brain so he didn’t do anything against his better judgement.

He didn’t even know the boy. Why did he trust him so fast?

The boy stayed on the couch there like he was for a moment, making a face and breathing. Then he finally stood up and made a sad little sound.

Ryan looked away and ashamedly put his hand on his chin. He knew he’d fucked up coming here.

He quickly dig out his wallet as the boy sauntered back over to the platform. He opened it up and flipped through the cash he had on hand, his budget for the night.

Ryan pulled out what he had, only leaving a few dollars for himself to go buy some booze later and hope to forget everything that had just happened.

He quickly stood up and looked over at the boy, who had picked up his harness off the opposite couch and started turning it over in his hands.

Ryan gulped and admired how fucking gorgeous the boy was. He looked so pale and soft. Ryan wanted to reach out and touch him again. He wanted to kiss, touch, and fuck the boy all night long.

He had to stop before it went too far and he did something stupid like get attached.

“H-here.” Ryan stammered, holding out the wad of cash. “For tonight.” He murmured. He had enough in there to have lasted him the evening, but he wanted to compensate for leading on the stripper and not going through with it.

The boy turned and stared with a blank expression. He wordlessly took the cash and turned back around to count up the bills.

Ryan stood awkwardly for a moment before realizing he should probably leave. “Um... Guess I’ll uh... Get going, then.” He stammered shamefully and went for the door.

As he was about to turn the knob, he was interrupted by a soft voice.

“Wait.”

He turned back around to meet the boy’s eyes as he scuttled back over, to Ryan’s slight confusion.

The boy smiled as he stopped in front of Ryan. He leaned a little on one foot and smiled a bit.

“You’ll come back, won’t you?” He looked up with wonder, his eyes begging for more.

Ryan thought about it. He as fond of this boy, he really was. His gut instinct said yes but his mind said praying for love in a lap dance would do him no good. This boy was a stripper, surely he wouldn’t fall in love?

“Maybe.” Ryan replied with uncertainty.

The boy scrunched up his nose at the reply, but didn’t complain. He got up on his tippy toes and gave Ryan one more gentle peck on the lips before they parted ways.

Ryan was mesmerized for a moment. When the boy turned away, he squared his jaw and left the room, going through the corridor and back up the stairs.

Guilty and half-hard still.


	2. We Intertwined

Once the whole group was finally pulled together, Ryan let out a noise of relief as they all piled out of the door.

Gabe’s clothes were all amuck and he was loud, Nick stank of weed, Alex was twitchy but Dan seemed the only one pretty clear headed and untouched.

Ryan’s group was like a box of chocolates.

They all piled into the vehicle, Dan taking the wheel so Ryan didn’t have to. On the way back they stopped by a liquor store to finally get hammered after the night they all had.

Nick and Alex were giving Ryan looks like they expected to hear how many strippers he’d hooked up with.

Ryan kept his head down and made a beeline for the liquor. He didn’t want cheap beer or wine, he wanted to get so shitfaced that in his mind, nothing even had happened at all.

He settled for a smaller bottle of vodka and checked out with Gabe behind him. As they waited for the others to take their pick of spirits, Gabe started going off about the girl he’d managed to get a blowjob from.

Ryan wasn’t amused. He stared off into space, not wanting to engage with Gabe.

They all went to Dan’s apartment to crash and hang out the rest of the night. Everyone was chatty, laughing, and for the most part had a glowy look about them.

All except Ryan.

He hid in the bathroom once the alcohol broke out and his friends started getting a little too comfortable.

He sipped on his vodka and tonic, rolling the ice sphere around in his glass, thinking about the boy at the club.

Ryan rubbed his face, trying to snap out of it as he downed the rest of his third drink.

He heard a light tap on the door. He stood up straight, ready to leave, but Dan came in and closed the door behind him.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Ryan says softly, sitting back down on the edge of the tub where he had been before.

Dan folded his arms and leaned against the door. He looked a little expectant, but mostly his presence was comforting.

“How was it?”

Ryan shrugged and wrapped both hands around his glass as if it were a chakra stone that could somehow bring balance to his ever so unstable nerves.

“It was good, I guess.”

Dan sat down next to Ryan on the toilet seat. Ryan moved his knees aside.

“Then why are you hiding in here?” Dan probed like a worried friend. It was almost midnight, he wanted Ryan to enjoy himself.

“I don’t know. I’m-“ Ryan scrubbed his face with his hand and leaned over his drink, staring at the floor. “Not my scene, I guess?”

Dan made a noise like he understood. “Why don’t you come hang out with us? I’d hate for you to be all cooped up in here alone.”

Ryan considered the offer. He went to take a sip only to find his glass empty.

“I guess.”

Dan slightly bobbed his head and stood. He went out the door to give Ryan a few minutes to achieve peace of mind.

It was only a few minutes before Ryan reluctantly opened the doorknob and went to grab another drink.

Ryan had a pounding headache the next morning. He’d taken a couple Tylenol and throughout the day tried to hide his persistent nausea at work.

It was hard to focus on his tasks, but at least he was more focused on his pain than anything else from the night before.

When work was over, Ryan had gone to grab something to eat on his way home, ever so conveniently a couple streets from the club.

He drove by it and stared distantly off to the side as he went by.

Ryan thought of the boy again, his chest tightening because he could still remember everything.

The boy’s touch, the boy’s kiss, the curve of his ass, his smooth chest, the indescribably full lips...

Ryan would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t enraptured by the young boy.

He went home, his heart heavy as he set down his keys and bag. Hobo came running up to him as he locked the door.

Ryan smiled bent over to scoop the mini beagle up in his arms. She was wagging and licking.

Shane had also been sitting on the couch when Ryan had arrived, so he waved in greeting, then turned his attention back to whatever tv program on low volume was playing.

Ryan took off his shoes and sank down on the opposite end of the couch, letting Hobo settle in his lap.

“Overtime?” Shane took a sip of what was his fourth beer, judging by all the empty cans remaining on the coffee table by an open bag of cheeto puffs that were scattered about.

Ryan gave a _“humph”_ in concurrence. “Got stuck with a few last minute orders.” He lied so he wouldn’t have to explain why he went out of his way to grab some food before driving past a strip club, looking on longingly.

He was emotionally vacant as he watched some guy get stabbed to death on the tv show Shane had the channel on.

“There’s some leftover pizza in the fridge. I went ahead and got some since you wouldn’t get back to me about who had tonight covered.” Shane’s tone conveyed slight contempt.

Ryan was instantly consumed by guilt.

“Sorry, I was-“

“Don’t bother.” Shane interrupted, shutting off the tv. “I have to do fucking everything around here.” He went off to his room and slammed the door shut.

Ryan rubbed his forehead, knowing what a mess he was.

He stroked Hobo’s fur and wondered what the hell had seized him, what he had done wrong.

Wednesdays were always game night at Gabe’s. He had a pool table and plenty of instruments in the garage to jam with.

Ryan had been a little withdrawn throughout the evening, although he was having a nice time.

All his friends were there with their girlfriends, him being the only single (and gay) man amongst them.

Not that he minded, but part of him longed for a companion to share his life with. Someone unlike Shane his roommate. Someone close, someone loving, someone he could feel the same way his friends in relationships felt.

Ryan knocked back another beer and shot another shitty aim at a striped ball on the table.

He was out of sorts that night.

He decided to leave early, despite the guys’ insistence he stay for one more game.

Ryan mumbled excuses of a headache and wanting to go to bed early, then feigned sadness as he departed from the party.

He went driving to clear his mind.

Ryan didn’t want to go home. He knew he was damned if he didn’t get the boy off his mind.

He could still feel the boy’s touch, visualizing his body as if it were right there in front on him, twisting and moving against him.

It seemed almost too perfect to be true.

Ryan parked a block down from the club, unable to hold back any longer.

He had to know.

Ryan shoved his hands in his pockets as he went up to the entrance of the club.

It was a much smaller crowd then the previous time, getting a ticket to get in took nearly no time at all.

Ryan kept his head low and stuck to the walls of the club, not wanting to cross anyone or be seen.

The ladies danced, the hunky men were on the tables in a neon lights session, and the stench of cannabis hadn’t lessened any since the last time.

Ryan didn’t care for any of them.

He wanted to find the boy.

There was a vacant corner near the back of the club that was close to the back rooms and also had a good view of all coming out to the stage, so Ryan settled to wait there for a few minutes and take a look around.

He looked up to the main stage as the females left to go backstage, leaving a group of men all around cheering for more, cat-calling and throwing cash.

Ryan internally recoiled.

He awkwardly stood in the corner for what felt like a half hour but was really only five minutes until the lights went dim. He scratched the back of his head, irritated that now he couldn’t even see if the boy was somewhere in the crowd.

Ryan was just about to leave when the music for _Let’s Get It On_ came through the speakers.

He looked to the stage as the handsome boy came on, dressed nicely in a button-down, slacks, and a bow tie.

Ryan sighed a soft breath of relief and looked up, all starry-eyed at the male he had so heavily lusted after.

Right in front of him.

The boy sang along with the music, posing and bending for the attention he earned. They weren’t as loud for him as the girls, but he was worth more than they were in Ryan’s eyes.

The stripper started taking off his shirt, getting a little bit of noise as he smirked and let it drop to the ground.

His voice was angelic, so was his body.

Ryan wanted to reach out and touch him.

The boy had a mischievous look about him as he would come to the edge of the stage, near prying hands to make teasing faces and dip low.

His perfect skin glowed under the pale lights. The front of his hair cast a shadow over his eyes that made Ryan want to push the bangs aside and see what the boy was thinking.

Ryan looked on as the boy stripped down to black mesh underwear, only covered in the front.

The perky male stepped off the stage, still singing as he let people touch him, smirking and making eyes at whoever would hand him cash.

Ryan watched the whole act until the song was over. Then there was applause for the boy as he climbed back up onto the stage, staying there on the edge to smile and show off his ass.

There was a loud whistle from backstage and the boy took off running with cash in his underwear as the lights went dim again.

Ryan was entranced, captivated by the young male.

He stayed in his corner as the lights came on and the next act began, a male and female duet.

Ryan turned away and looked to the back rooms, wondering if the boy would come back out.

He waited and waited until he lost patience, knowing he shouldn’t have been there anyways.

Ryan approached the entrance to the back rooms, looking down and trying to listen for any voices.

He went down the stairs and looked around. He slowly went back to the room where he’d been with the boy last time.

The door was barely open as Ryan gently pushed forward to take a peek.

It was almost open, then there was a loud slam and Ryan turned around, jumping a little.

“Looking for something?” A tall man dressed in a fur coat, chains, and boots tilted down his sunglasses to give Ryan a stern look.

Ryan nervously stammered for a moment, feeling like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.

“The boy on the stage...” He mumbled anxiously. “I wanna see him.”

“Which? The little one?” The pimp pulled out a cigar and lit it.

“Nasty Jackson I think...”

The other man turned back to go where he had come from, gesturing for Ryan to come with.

Ryan followed the pimp, listening to the hard clink every time he took a step.

They went through saloon doors to the area Ryan assumed was the dressing room.

Wigs thrown about, vanity mirrors, makeup, BDSM props, and all the like.

The pimp lead him to an area where there were racks and racks of costumes, telling him to wait there.

Ryan stood awkwardly and stared at all the bright, flamboyant hats that were up on a shelf. He also noticed the stained, scratched floor that had traces of glitter and sequins scattered about.

He thought about what he would be doing if he were home right now.

Post-shower, under a blanket or two, his dog sleeping and pressed against his thigh with some nature documentary as background noise.

It felt warmer than here. Cleaner and not so grungy.

Ryan lifted his head as the pimp came back, grasping the arm of the boy who had been on the stage, pulling him along with a little roughness.

“This one?”

“Yeah.” Ryan smiled the slightest bit at the boy, still only clad in his mesh underwear.

Ryan noticed he had a few new marks on his neck. Yet the boy still looked friendly and amiable, in spite of the rough treatment from the pimp.

“You can have him for the night. It’s $1,000 flat, as long as you return him before twelve a.m. Everything in advance.”

Ryan was startled by the man’s forwardness. He could feel his wallet burning in his back pocket as he thought of what one night with this stripper could cost him.

Surely he wouldn’t sleep with this boy? Certainly not tonight of all nights. He could barely even make rent most months.

His budget was always getting tighter as his work schedule would become more strained, always working overtime just to make enough in a day.

Ryan only ever had very little for himself at the end of it all.

He stared into the boy’s eyes as he considered the offer. Those big, expressive, dreamy eyes. Full lips. His drop-dead stunning body...

“Or you could also take the lap dance package if that’s not your taste. He’ll dance for you. It’s extra if you want oral, but if you buy more drinks he’ll give you more rewards, eh?”

The pimp sounded desperate to whore out the boy. Ryan was already so lost and confused as he was.

The stripper seemed completely unfazed by it all. The look on his face seemed to suggest he was accustomed to being treated like scum, only worth what money they could shake out of him.

Yet, he still had a dreamy smile.

“Just the lap dance.” Ryan said shyly. He didn’t want his efforts even coming here to be for nothing.

The pimp thrust forward the young male, making him stumble a little, bit he caught himself and looked back at Ryan with a mischievous grin.

“Come with me.” The boy purred softly, putting Ryan instantly at ease as he took his hand to lead him away.

Ryan caught himself staring at the boy’s pale, perfect mesh-clad behind.

They stopped in front of the room Ryan had been at previously, the boy opening the door and gently pulling him in, his eyes twinkling.

“Sit down.” The stripper nudged Ryan over towards the couch, closing the door.

Ryan did as he was told. He leaned back against the leather cushions and let himself meld into it.

He watched as the boy came over to him, his expression mixed between excited and teasing.

The boy sat in his lap and adjusted himself a little so he had good leverage to move around.

Ryan looked up in awe. He smiled back the slightest bit, reaching up and brushing the hair out of the other male’s eyes.

“Wanna drink?” The boy lifted his brows and bit on his bottom lip, looking lustful as he eyed at Ryan’s lips and started touching his chest.

“Want you for now.” Ryan touched the boy’s soft cheek with the tip of his thumb, gently tracing down his jawline, his lips parting slightly as he took in the other male’s beauty.

The boy closed the gap between them, pulling Ryan into a deep kiss as he started squirming the slightest bit.

Ryan was a little on edge, but relaxed somehow for the stripper’s rough taste.

It was like weed and whiskey.

He pulled back, looking the boy in the eyes. They touched foreheads and the stripper started grinding in Ryan’s lap.

Ryan held his bottom lip between his teeth as the boy rubbed his mesh-clad crotch against his jeans.

They kissed again with a little more urgency. Both their systems ignited with lust for one another. Moving, rocking, grinding until they were both half hard.

Ryan felt a warm feeling spread in his chest as the boy pressed closer to him, and he knew the boy was turned on from this.

Their skin was hot and clammy where they were pressed together. It sent a pleasant tingle up Ryan’s neck.

He gently grabbed the boy’s thigh, pulling him a little closer as he turned them over on the couch until the other male was underneath him.

Ryan knew what he wanted.

The other half of him said no, not to get lost in this, not to give in.

He was too hard to think.

Ryan pulled back a little, opening his eyes as the boy looked back at him with wide, lustful eyes. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were bright pink.

They peacefully breathed into eachother’s mouths until Ryan started snaking his hand down between them.

A smile crept its way across the boy’s cheeks as he wrapped his arms around Ryan’s shoulders.

“Gonna fuck me, baby?” He breathed out softly, sounding almost desperate.

Ryan grabbed the waistband of the boy’s boxers and gently tugged.

He nosed at the boy’s jawline and deeply thought about it.

The boy was so sexy. All his masculine instincts said yes, his heart said yes, but in his mind, there was doubt.

He didn’t even know the boy’s name.

“Want you to fuck me.” The boy purred, wrapping his legs around Ryan and pulling him closer.

Ryan let out a short gasp from the friction.

He knew he wanted this. There were so few pleasures he got in life anyways. He could let himself have something nice for once.

What’s life until you’ve fucked up badly a good handful of times?

“Not here.” Ryan choked out, releasing his grip on the boy’s underwear.

He stared into the boy’s eyes, and the boy looked back at him with in confusion.

Ryan knew he was leading the boy on.

He traced his hands down the other male’s chest, ribs, and hips. He was full of amazement and lust for the young male. His skin was soft, his dark eyes and hair stood out against his pale skin.

Their crotches were pressed together, leaving Ryan wanting more. He was the boy Ryan could only dream of having.

He didn’t want to leave the boy hanging.

“I want you tomorrow.” He murmured softly, touching noses with the other male. “I wanna take you home with me.” He says breathlessly, looking to the boy as he anxiously awaited a response.

The stripper eyed him up and down, touching his chest under his shirt, nodding in agreement.

After a little more grinding and making out, Ryan decided to leave before anything could get out of hand too fast.

He bought a couple drinks and pet the boy’s hair as they sat on the couch together. They couldn’t keep their hands off one another.

“Are you gonna miss me?” The boy faux pouted, leaning on Ryan’s shoulder like a sad puppy.

“Immensely.” Ryan kissed the boy’s forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He went to the door and looked back fondly at the boy.

“Wait.” He squeaked, trotting over to Ryan with his arm behind his back. Then he revealed a card with his number on it.

“Call me?” The boy suggested with pleading eyes.

_Was the stripper really into Ryan?_

“Oh. Okay.” Ryan mumbled awkwardly.

He went to reach for his wallet to tip the boy, but then the other male interrupted by grabbing his arm.

“This one’s on the house.” He chirped, making eyes at Ryan.

_It was a crush._

Ryan found himself in complete fondness and complete adoration for the boy.

He went to bed that night feeling fuzzy, horny, and excited for the next day.

Maybe he even jerked one out before he fell asleep, thinking about the boy with his full ass and plush lips.

The boy in his room, his bed, whining and moaning and scratching Ryan up as he pleaded for more.

He spent the afterglow staring at the card with the boy’s number on it. He wanted so many times to punch the number into his phone and beg the boy to come over.

He left it sitting under his alarm clock as he settled for snuggling against one of his pillows, drifting off to sleep before he could make any more impulse decisions.

Ryan was in far too deep.


	3. 708

Ryan yawned and scratched his tummy as he walked through the kitchen.

The floor boards creaked under his feet.

He wandered through the dark, having woke up too early in the morning for the sun to come out, but he didn’t bother turning on the lights.

Ryan rubbed his eye, sleepy and hungry as he opened the fridge, staring blankly at its contents.

He grabbed a carton of milk and closed the fridge, settling for eating cereal that morning.

He fed the dog, then relaxed on the couch with his breakfast and laptop.

Ryan checked his emails and LiveJournal. Then he logged in to his bank account to see just how much he could spend since he’d received his paycheck the day prior.

He opened up his budget file, looking between it and the number that told him what would remain in his account.

He knew he didn’t have much.

If he squeezed in a good few hours of overtime during the week and took weekend shifts, Ryan thought he just might make it.

He pulled the card out of his pocket that the boy had given him. He flipped it over, staring at the number scribbled into the back of it.

Ryan knew if he didn’t give in, it would always be stuck in his mind. A burning _what if?_ imprinted on his forehead.

It couldn’t hurt to finally have it out of his system and realize he wasn’t cut out for that kind of life anyways.

Ryan picked up his phone off the coffee table and punched in the number.

His long, delicate fingers hovered over the keys as if they were fragile jewels beneath his fingertips.

He typed in the number, pressed multiple keys, and read it all over.

Then he sent the message.

Of course, as early in the morning as it was, the bank was empty of people as Ryan went in.

He had a large withdrawal to make in the name of intimacy.

Ryan went up to the teller machine, put in his chip, and typed in the needed transaction.

A thousand was the daily withdrawal limit.

His wallet would feel heavy as he went about his day.

After he had his money, he went back home to stash it somewhere safe before leaving for work.

Ryan walked by a pissed off hungover Shane as he went out the door.

If only Shane was anyone else, maybe Ryan wouldn’t have to go to such length and pay someone for their company.

He tried not to think about it too much.

The work day was pretty unproductive as so many people were gone on vacation.

Ryan was stuck spinning his wheels and glancing at the clock as he went about his tasks.

He got a message on his phone and he lifted it up, since nobody was really around to reprimand him for it.

_Hi there Ryan :)_

Ryan’s eyes lit up.

He abandoned his task and opted for a lunch break. He went to the kitchen and brewed himself as he typed up a reply.

_how are u? cant get you off my mind_ Ryan texted back, a warm feeling spreading in his chest.

He set down his phone and poured his coffee in a small foam cup. He added a couple packets of sugar and stirred it around with a plastic knife.

_Never better ;) I haven’t forgotten your promise_ The boy replied.

Ryan sat down, grinning wide as he thought of the night before and how he’d said he would see the boy again the following day.

He texted the boy asking to meet up. Ryan considered where exactly that could take place. Shane would most likely be home that night, whether it be sleeping or staying up late watching TV.

Ryan couldn’t bring a stripper home, he knew that much was true.

He didn’t get another reply for the rest of the afternoon, so he grudgingly finished his tasks and then went around his workplace, trying to look productive for the cameras.

When the day was over, he gathered up his things and left.

Ryan checked his phone one more time and found that he had two new messages.

He smiled some more as he flipped his phone open.

There was a message from Gabe, which he ignored.

Then there was a message from the boy.

Ryan eagerly opened it.

_Meet me on the corner of 4th and Fremont street at 7. I have a room. <3_

Ryan was nonetheless relieved he wouldn’t be expected to take care of the location.

_i will be there_

That evening, he shook nervously as he sat in his car, watching the clock.

It was hot outside, even though it was dark out, so Ryan stayed in his air conditioned vehicle for as long as he could.

Once the clock hit 6:40 p.m. Ryan decided to take the heat and get out.

He went down the elevator to Fremont street. He walked out of the corridor and out into the open past a food court.

He looked around, the street lit up under the neon lights.

The tougher crowd was out now that it was night time. The air was thick with smoke, there was loud music, people were dressed in shiny costumes and people were dressed in nothing.

Ryan kept his head down as he rounded the restaurant, sticking close to the sidelines so he wouldn't get caught up in the flurry.

Whenever he glanced up, he kept his eyes peeled for any sign of the boy.

Once he reached the corner, he stuck close by the door of the food court, looking around and trying to spot the boy.

He was ready to wait, but then he turned to look behind him, and he instantly caught sight of the same coat the pimp had been in the other night.

Ryan didn’t see the boy, but he still sauntered over, wondering if the man had the boy with him.

He shifted awkwardly in his anxious state. The boy said they would meet up here, there was no talk of the pimp coming too.

Ryan guessed it was for safety so nobody could kidnap the stripper. He could point out a handful of people off the street who looked like they would.

He watched as the pimp turned and leaned against a railing. That was when Ryan finally saw the boy.

This time, his look was different yet again. The boy was in fairly normal clothes this time, a plain white shirt and slim jeans.

He was also wearing a thick black collar around his throat with a ring in the middle attached to a chain, which was bound to two black leather handcuffs wrapped around his wrists.

The boy looked stunning even in that.

The pimp held onto a second chain dangling from the boy’s throat, tugging him a little closer to bring him out of the way of a bum passing by.

Ryan approached them. Instantly the boy made eye contact and smiled.

The pimp turned and looked down on Ryan, elevated by his high heeled boots.

“Hey.” Ryan enunciated awkwardly. He looked over at the boy and his eyes softened.

“You want this one for tonight, he says? He’s up for half price now. You can keep him all night.” The pimp jerked the chain, forcing the boy to come closer.

Ryan watched as the stripper stumbled on his feet a bit, but continued smiling and standing obediently, not speaking a word.

“Ok. How much?” Ryan pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, mourning momentarily as he tore his eyes away from the boy.

“$500 for the night covers everything. $250 if you wanna fuck his ass and turn him back in.”

Ryan considered the offer. He had nothing kinky he wanted to do, all he wanted was some intimacy.

He thought about keeping the boy for longer. As he carded through the cash, he glanced over at the boy and saw his hopeful eyes.

Ryan didn’t want to disappoint, but he also knew his options were limited.

“How much will $350 get me?” He attempted to negotiate.

The pimp exclaimed as if he was annoyed with the question. “You can have him for a while, and he’ll go down on you, but he must be back before 12 a.m.”

Ryan noiselessly handed over the bills, to which the pimp grabbed out of his hand and shoved into his inner coat pocket.

“Follow us.” The pimp seemed as if he was irritated with Ryan.

Ryan cautiously followed as the pimp dragged the boy along.

He noticed there were more marks this time around the jawline and the back of the boy’s neck.

Ryan felt a tinge if jealousy. He wondered who else the other male had been with, how he was treated, what they made him do.

Did they get him off? Did he like it?

Ryan cringed a little and kept his eyes down as he followed them on the sidewalk from a distance.

A gentle gust of wind kicked up the heat, making Ryan sweat a little in his vest. He rolled up the sleeves of his floral shirt and went across a couple blocks.

Eventually they stopped on front of _The D Motel_.

How fitting of a name.

The pimp dragged the boy along to the area between the parking garage and the entrance of the hotel. Then he nudged the back of the boy’s leg with his foot, forcing the other male down on the pavement.

Ryan cringed as the boy’s knees slammed into the ground and he whimpered in pain.

“Show some fucking respect to your master.” The pimp reprimanded the boy.

Ryan’s chest tightened with pity. He didn’t interfere, not knowing just how roughly the boy was treated on a daily basis.

“Don’t hurt him.” He breathed out, but the wind carried his voice away.

“Here you go. Don’t let him boss you, remind him of who’s in charge.” The pimp says, thrusting the chain into Ryan’s hand. “Daniel Pawlovich, at your service. Give me a call if he gives you any trouble, eh?”

Ryan took the leash on his hand and incoherently agreed. All he wanted was to get out of there so he could be alone with the boy.

“708 is your room. I’ll be waiting.” Daniel the pimp placed a key in Ryan’s other hand and nudged the boy forward, making him stumble as he got back on his feet.

Ryan reached out to keep the boy from falling. Once he was upright and smiling again, Ryan awkwardly lead the boy into the hotel.

The place was covered in red and black furniture. There were ads with girls in bikinis and people sitting at slots.

Then there were bars and people playing blackjack.

It stank of cigars and sex.

Ryan felt self-conscious and immense anxiety as he crossed the casino. He momentarily thought of how awful it would be if he ran into someone he knew here.

The environment unnerving, so Ryan quickened his pace a little until he located the elevator, going over to it with the boy beside him.

He looked over and observed as the boy scratched his cheek and yawned.

Ryan saw a small pink mark just below his jaw. Another soft bruise turned the pale boy’s skin a gentle shade of purple and yellow where his shirt hung off his shoulder ever so slightly.

Ryan wished he was the one who’d left such a mark there.

An elevator opened and they both went up to the seventh floor.

Ryan made eye contact with the boy and he received a smile. He smiled in return, and the other male stepped a little closer so he was pressed against Ryan’s shoulder.

It did well for Ryan’s nerves.

They wandered down the hallway after exiting the elevator. Ryan felt weird still holding the boy by his chain, but he was too fixated on finding the room to take a moment and remove it.

Once they reached the room, Ryan inserted the key and the door unlocked.

He shoved it open, stepping back to let the boy inside.

The door shut.

Ryan could finally breathe.


	4. Brendon

He stood across from the boy, looking him up and down before meeting his eyes.

The boy stepped into his space, staring up at him longingly.

Ryan felt equally as longing. He’d been thinking about this since the first night.

They closed the gaps. Slowly. Tentatively.

Ryan closed his eyes and let go of the chain to put his hand on the nape of the other male’s neck. He took charge and pressed his lips against the boy’s plush lips.

The boy smelled like warm and musk and masculinity.

Ryan fucking liked it.

He wrapped his arms around the other male, pressing their bodies together in a warm embrace.

Then he felt the boy’s wrists pressing into his hip. He broke the kiss to look down. He realized the boy was still cuffed.

“Uh...” Ryan took the boy’s hands in his own, lifting them up to examine how they were bound together.

He was surprised to find that no key was required, they only were held together by the buckles.

Ryan undid the cuffs, freeing the boy. Along with it he also took off the collar, wondering how the hell the other male wasn’t suffocating in the outside heat.

The items dropped to the ground, and they both embraced each other.

Kissing, holding, touching, enjoying the closeness.

The boy tangled his hands in Ryan’s hair, kissing with desperation. A small whine escaped his lips.

Ryan gasped a little against the other male’s lips. The urgency and desperation left him aroused.

They pulled each other a little farther into the room. They tugged at each other’s clothes as their mouths smacked together at different angles.

Ryan wanted, wanted, wanted and the boy was _oh so soft and pliant_ to his touch.

Everything was so effortless and sweet.

Ryan stepped back momentarily to look the boy in the eyes. He shakily breathed out, feeling the arousal pool in his stomach. He knew what he wanted.

The boy stared up at Ryan, his dark eyes twinkling with excitement and lust. He pulled back as well and tugged his shirt off over his head.

Ryan sucked in a sharp breath and looked down the smooth planes of the boy’s body.

He reached out and touched the soft skin, bruises here and there. He brushed his fingertips gently down the boy’s chest and nibbled on his own tongue as his fingers traced the waistline of the boy’s pants.

Ryan gasped as he saw the forming bulge. It made him even more excited as he cupped the other male’s soft cheeks, pulling him in for more.

He turned them around until the back of the boy’s knees were pressed against the bed.

Ryan breathed out and lowered himself, picking the boy up. A dizzy rush of excitement flooded his senses.

The boy wrapped his arms around Ryan’s shoulders, kissing back submissively, wrapping his legs around Ryan’s waist and groaning against his mouth.

Ryan leaned over until they both fell onto the bed together.

It momentarily knocked the breath out of the boy, Ryan was overcome with a sudden heat as their chests pressed together.

Ryan laced his fingers through the belt loops of the other male’s pants. He made a little space between them to slide the boy’s pants off. The boy seemed to take the hint and he broke the kiss to shed the remaining clothing he had on.

Once he was completely naked, he scooted himself further up on the bed. He was hard and breathy, looking up with big, lustful eyes as he relaxed against the soft hotel bedding.

Ryan was stirred up as he eyed the boy’s erection.

He was a nice size, perfect to fit in a fist. Or a mouth. He could even fuck an ass and make it feel good if he felt so inclined.

Ryan tried not to drool.

Ryan reached out and touched the boy, making his breath hitch a little. He lowered himself between the boy’s legs. The other male tangled his hands in Ryan’s hair as he shifted to accommodate Ryan.

They made out passionately as Ryan started jerking the boy off. He let himself get used to the sensation- another man’s dick.

He loved how it felt and how aroused the other male was from this.

_Fuck,_ he was so hard.

Ryan started rubbing himself against the boy’s inner thigh, his breathing getting heavier.

Their mouths were wet, their bodies were _warm_, and Ryan’s pants were only getting tighter. He felt like he was going to burst.

He traced his tongue around inside the boy’s cheek as he frantically undid his belt and zipper with shaking hands.

The boy helped unbuttoning his vest. Their hands met halfway as Ryan stripped himself down to skin.

Brendon gasped as Ryan’s erection was freed. He bit on his bottom lip and made a noise as he gripped Ryan’s shaft in his fist.

“Fuck, you’re big.” The boy breathed out as his eyes widened.

Ryan bit his tongue, trying not to be noisy as the boy slid his fist up and down his thick member.

He could’ve cum just like that.

He tried not to.

Ryan kissed down the boy’s neck, grabbing onto the other male and pumping him again. He nuzzled at the soft of the boy’s throat and sighed.

He worked the boy, letting himself familiarize with the body of another guy, another man.

They breathed against each other’s mouths. Squirming, touching, grabbing.

“Wanna fuck you.” Ryan said at last after a few minutes, giving the boy’s dick a soft squeeze.

The boy nodded eagerly and gently pushed on Ryan, making room for himself to get up.

Ryan pulled back in confusion. Once he was able to think again, he realized what the boy was doing as he went back over to his pants, shuffling around in the pockets.

He absentmindedly lay back down on the bed and started idly stroking himself. He laid on his back, staring at the boy’s pale ass.

Ryan thought about grabbing the boy’s hips and sinking in without a second thought.

He was patient enough.

The boy came back over with a couple condoms and a small container of lube. He licked his lips and grinned as he sat down on Ryan’s thighs.

“You’re gonna feel so good inside me. Your big cock filling me up. _Fuck_, it’s gonna be amazing.” The boy purred.

Ryan’s dick twitched. The mental image turned him on like nothing else.

The boy arched his back and ripped the condom package open with his teeth, smiling dreamily as he flicked the packaging away.

He took the condom and slid it onto Ryan, staring into his eyes, rubbing his shaft all the way down.

Then he sank a little lower between Ryan’s legs, a mischievous glimmer in his eye.

Ryan sucked in a sharp breath.

The boy licked his lips, taking Ryan’s shaft in both hands as he sank down and closed his wet lips around the erection.

It took Ryan a moment to process, but once he did, he grunted softly and lifted his hips, dying for more.

The boy took him in halfway, starting to suck a little.

Ryan threw his head back, releasing shaky breaths as the pleasure shocked through his system.

He couldn’t make sense of it. He never felt anything like it. It swirled through his system and choked him up and he didn’t want it to stop.

The boy swirled his tongue around the tip. He placed gentle kisses along the underside, driving Ryan fucking insane.

Ryan grabbed gently onto the boy’s hair, starting to move his hips in smooth, fluid motions.

He gasped and stared down at the boy as he took it. Then Ryan would make him lift off and sink back down.

Ryan’s hips jerked.

He was fucking ecstatic.

The boy’s mouth was so wet, warm, and phallically inviting.

The gentle suction tore Ryan apart from the inside.

Ryan was getting closer and closer to the edge, so he gently let go of the boy’s hair, then he gulped and tried to get his attention.

“Come here, baby.” Ryan rasped out. His voice was wrecked by arousal.

The boy slowly pulled off, making Ryan mourn the loss of his mouth. But then the boy stood up on his knees, thighs bracketing Ryan’s sides as he shifted in Ryan’s lap.

They both took a moment to breathe.

Ryan licked his lips. He wiped away the drool on the boy’s chin. “I wanna be in you.” His pupils were blown.

The boy kissed the corner of Ryan’s mouth. He nodded and guided Ryan’s hand down past his balls, to his perineum and then his hole.

Ryan pressed his fingers there, making the boy tingle with want.

“Need you.” The boy whined. He pushed back, wanting it with a heated urgency.

Ryan paused for a moment, fingers hovering.

“What’s your name?” Ryan pleads.

He didn’t want to lose his virginity to someone he didn’t even know on a first name basis.

He was head over heels for the boy, they both knew it, but Ryan still had to know. He wanted to remember.

The boy sighed and kissed Ryan. He squirmed a little before he gave in.

“Brendon,” the boy nuzzled down Ryan’s neck, kissing a soft spot there.

_Brendon_.

Ryan wanted to chant it needily all night long as they’d fuck and cum and fuck some more.

Brendon shifted in Ryan’s lap, making a noise to remind him what they were both there to do.

Ryan pushed his fingers in. Slowly and easily to let the other male adjust.

Brendon sighed, feeling content as Ryan’s fingers pressed in and stretched him.

Ryan felt weird once his fingers pushed past the ring of muscle, earning a grunt from the boy. It was tight and squishy and _downright weird_, but Brendon sank down on it, he wanted it much to Ryan’s surprise.

He shoved his fingers in until they were knuckle deep. He was relieved to find nothing but empty space up there.

Ryan had tried fingering himself once as a teen. He would keep a secret stash of porn and watch as hunky guys would shove their fists and dicks dry in the other man’s hole.

It frightened Ryan, and it made him wonder how the hell anyone could possibly be pleasured or get off on this.

One night he tried it alone. He was under the stream of a warm shower in case things got messy.

It felt like a violation, an unwelcome and intrusive digit pushing around his insides, trying desperately to dig for pleasure.

It was a failed experiment and Ryan gave up, settling for humping things to get off instead.

He was never cut out to be a bottom.

Brendon seemed plenty responsive, however. When Ryan stretched him out and started thrusting his fingers, the other male made soft little noises.

Brendon closed his eyes and let his mouth fall open as he started rocking his hips with the motions of Ryan’s fingers.

Ryan watched, mesmerized.

He pushed around experimentally, wondering if the magic of prostate stimulation really was real.

It took him a few minutes, but once Ryan felt a slightly hard little spot a few inches in toward Brendon’s stomach, the other male squeaked.

“Ohhh, _ah,_ there. Oh, please, Ry...” A drop of saliva fell down Brendon’s cheek and he softly thrummed.

Ryan kept fingering him there, earning sharp breaths and desperate whimpers.

He grabbed a fistful of Brendon’s hair with his other hand and pulled him in, making their wet mouths collide.

Brendon grabbed onto his shoulders, nails gently digging in.

Ryan earned a drawn out whine from the other male as he rubbed the soft spot.

He had to do something about his own throbbing erection. He couldn’t wait any longer.

Ryan grabbed onto Brendon’s wrist and turned them over on the bed so he was on top. Brendon let out a shuddery breath and melted into the contact as their bodies pressed together.

Ryan pulled out his fingers and kissed the corner of the other male’s mouth. “Want you now.” His tone was more questioning than demanding.

Brendon smiled against Ryan’s mouth, reaching over, grabbing the lube and pouring some into his hand.

He reached down and slicked Ryan up. Ryan buried his face in Brendon’s neck, pushing his hips forward as the boy rubbed his member up and down.

Brendon went until he had sufficiently lubricated Ryan, then he grabbed onto the shaft, guiding Ryan to his entrance.

Ryan went with it. He pushed Brendon’s leg aside to make more room for himself. He got propped up on his elbows and looked down, wanting the boy’s consent.

“Yeah?”

Brendon was eager. He was wonton.

“Yes.”

Ryan pushed forward, eyes locked with the other male as he entered the tight ring of muscle.

Everything was hot bliss from there.

Brendon’s mouth dropped open and he released a soft “_ahhh_...” relaxing into the penetration.

Ryan was fucking consumed by the tight pressure, despite him having stretched out the other male a little.

He grunted and shoved his nose against Brendon’s collarbone. His knees were digging into the mattress as he pushed forward, completely taken by the other male’s warmth.

Brendon choked a little as Ryan filled him up. He wrapped his legs tight around Ryan’s waist, grabbing onto the headboard, seeing stars.

“Gahh... Fuck, Ry. You fill me up so _good_.” He purred, squirming his hips and letting his head go back.

Ryan’s hot breaths against his shoulder gave him goosebumps.

Ryan tried not to let his mind black out from the blinding pleasure. He was pleasantly squeezed in all directions.

He took a moment to catch his breath so he wouldn’t instantly cum. He dragged out a little bit and pushed back in experimentally.

Thrusting lightly, like he figured he was supposed to do.

He gasped. It felt good.

Ryan started up slow, rough thrusts, giving into the warm and wet pleasure that was Brendon’s ass.

A _stripper’s ass_ Ryan realized.

He shook his head a little, gripping onto Brendon’s hip and moaning softly as their naked bodies slammed together with wet claps.

Brendon was biting on his bottom lip, lifting his hips with every thrust, making Ryan lose his mind.

Ryan picked up his pace, moaning and grunting heavily with his effort as he _really_ fucked Brendon.

He kissed up the soft of his throat, his jawline, and his cheek.

Brendon seized up and jerked when Ryan barely pushed his prostate.

Ryan had to keep all his weight on Brendon to keep himself from being knocked off.

He grabbed onto Brendon’s wrists, holding him down.

They locked eyes. Brendon’s were wide, he was breathless.

Ryan knew his expression probably matched.

“Fuck...”

Ryan nodded, pushing closer, losing himself in the pleasure tingles that went from his lower spine and shot down the backs of his thighs.

He fucked hard into Brendon’s tight, wet heat.

Ryan released his grip on Brendon’s wrists and pulled the other male’s leg up, penetrating deeper.

Brendon started scratching at Ryan’s back. He’d shiver and jerk when Ryan would bottom out, pushing all the way in.

It burned, it tingled, it pushed him closer and closer each time.

Brendon would whine and whimper loudly. His eyes rolled back, a soft sob escaping his lungs.

Ryan kept thrusting into the _tight hot oh-so-perfect_ vice that was the stripper’s ass.

Brendon held his breath and choked when Ryan thrusted into his prostate yet again.

“Ry, please, please, please so close.” He chanted in his desperation.

Ryan nodded, trying to keep pushing into that special spot.

Brendon’s hand went down to his dick, taking it in his fist, pumping hard.

Ryan slammed his hips until the headboard shook. The gentle prick of Brendon’s nails in his shoulder and warm squeeze of his thighs made Ryan curse under his breath.

It was the best thing he’d ever felt.

His balls felt tight, his spine tensed, he’d sink in so deep that he lost his grip on the difference between reality and ecstasy.

Brendon let out shaky moans as he started getting fucked sore. Some tears were knocked out of him, and they trickled down his cheeks.

Ryan watched as Brendon cried, somehow turned on by how into it they both were.

Ryan leaned down and captured the boy’s mouth in a sloppy, trembling kiss.

Brendon held back another sob. He clung to Ryan a little tighter, eyes squeezing shut as he neared his climax.

”Ryan, Ryan, Ryan...” Brendon chanted like a song. “Oh fuck shit fuck please, _please_, I’m gonna-“

It only took a few more thrusts from Ryan until he cried out, shaking, scratching as he climaxed.

Warm semen shot out, making it all hot and wet and sticky between them.

Ryan slightly bit Brendon’s neck, fucking into the boy as his insides spasmed, clenching and releasing.

It hurt, but was mostly ecstatic as Ryan kept fucking into Brendon.

“Shit-shit-_fucking hell_...” Ryan cursed against the boy’s neck.

Brendon came down with a heavy grunt. He shivered and relaxed as the orgasmic bliss of afterglow overtook him.

He let go of his aching, spent erection. Then he wrapped his arms around Ryan, letting the rest of the tears fall down his cheeks.

Brendon was soft and warm.

They were sticky and clammy between their bodies where there was skin on skin.

Ryan grabbed Brendon’s hair, thrusting until it hurt, chasing the pleasure that shook up his nerves and made his digits curl.

He tensed up. His mind blacked out and then his vision went white, and Ryan hit his climax, growling loudly.

He was seeing stars as pleasure shot through every fucking nerve in his body. He was breathless, it made no sense, he completely emptied himself as he fucked the boy.

Ryan cursed, moaned, and his thighs shook as he finished himself off until he was completely drained.

He collapsed on Brendon as he came down.

His dick was in a pleasantly tight area for now. The warmth spread throughout his body.

Ryan blew out a heavy breath of relief.

Brendon gently ran his hands up and down Ryan’s back, comforting them both in post coitus.

Ryan wasn’t a virgin anymore.

He flopped over onto his back, pulling out as he softened, both of them hissed.

Brendon made a sad little noise as Ryan rolled off of him.

Ryan pulled off the condom after he had a moment to catch his breath, feeling as if his soul had escaped into the cosmos, only leaving his body with Brendon.

He tied off the condom and tossed it into the bedside trash bin.

Then he stared up at the ceiling, only seeing red as the aftershocks consumed him.

Ryan looked over at Brendon. He was still hazy as he watched the other male shakily slide off the bed.

Brendon had grabbed his shirt, inside out, and wiped the cum off his stomach with trembling fingers.

“Baby, c’mere.” Ryan almost whined.

Brendon looked back at him with blown pupils. He looked well-fucked, much to Ryan’s satisfaction.

He climbed back into bed, collapsing next to Ryan, coyly touching his chest.

Ryan rolled over and ran his thumb over the boy’s swollen lips.

He fucked a stripper.

Ryan put his arm around the boy, pulling him to his chest.

Brendon scooted a little closer. He buried his face in Ryan’s neck and sighed happily.

Ryan pet the boy’s hair. He was still sweaty and felt fuzzy as they cuddled.

He wiped away the wetness on the boy’s cheeks. Then he kissed his forehead.

Ryan held Brendon, not wanting to let go. They still had time together to spend however they liked.

Ryan felt spent. He thought about wanting a round two, but everything felt so warm and perfect as they held each other, he didn’t want it to end.

They nuzzled and kissed. Then they closed their eyes, lips hovering.

Ryan stayed like that with Brendon.

He finally had learned what affection felt like. How it was to kiss, to fuck, to fall asleep with a boy and never want to let go.

Brendon smelled musky and warm as they both faded from consciousness.

The warmth filled Ryan up, making him feel safe.

He finally had the boy he’d lusted after so much.

A boy with a boy snuggled up together and falling asleep in a hotel room.

It couldn’t get much simpler than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you cum


	5. Always You

Ryan wiped his drool off on the back of his hand.

Sleep was still thick in his system. It hadn’t taken long for him to melt into Brendon’s warmth that night and fade away into a sweet dreamland.

It was early morning, the sun wasn’t yet out, but he was slowly coming to his senses.

Foggy-minded, he yawned and shoved his face a little more into the pillow.

He reached out, feeling the chill of the room sink into his bones. But his hand fell onto the other side of the bed.

All he found was empty space.

Ryan jerked a little. He had expected to find warmth there. Another body. Another heartbeat.

Only cold sheets met his touch.

He rubbed his eyes, then opening them and looking over at where the other person was missing.

Ryan’s heart sank in his chest.

He groggily sat up and blew out a heavy breath. He looked over at the bedside clock, trying to discern the blurry numbers.

Ryan made a sound of protest and slid out of bed. He was still naked, not having bothered dressing himself after what had happened the night before.

He looked around the room, wondering where the other male had gone.

The bathroom door was open. The handcuffs and collar were gone.

Ryan bent over to grab his boxers, sliding them on, rounding the bed.

Brendon’s clothes were gone too.

A queasy feeling sank into Ryan as he realized the boy had left without so much as a goodbye.

Ryan sat back down on the edge of the bed and let his mind run wild. Why would Brendon just leave? Was this what people did after they fucked?

He rubbed his face some more, staring at the floor as he realized what he had done.

He had sex with a man. A young one at that. A _stripper_, fucking hell.

Ryan felt a little choked up, knowing he shouldn’t have judged himself so harshly for what he did.

He had a good time. He felt closer to Brendon than anyone he’d ever been with. The raw intimacy, the trust he gave to the other male, it all meant so much to him.

Ryan knew, however, that every good thing must come with a price.

He sat on the hotel bed for what felt like hours. He chest felt heavy as he’d furl and unfurl his fingers around the red sheets.

Ryan got only what he had paid for.

He stood up and went to the bathroom, turning on the light and closing the door.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror. Ryan was too tired and hazy to pay too much attention, but he noticed his lips were still bright red and he had some faint scratch marks on his shoulders.

Ryan turned and saw the rest of the marks on his back as well as blotchier red marks on his hips.

The guilt started settling in.

He took a leak, then he went to the room, gathering up his things.

Ryan picked up his phone and wallet. He checked his phone and found he had 8 voicemails and 10 missed calls from Shane.

Anxiety pricked at his nerves.

He shoved his phone in his pocket, scanning his wallets contents to distract himself.

Everything was still in place like he knew it would be.

Ryan dressed himself in the too cold room. He looked out the large sliding glass door, gazing down on Fremont Street.

He grabbed the hotel key, went out of the room with all his belongings, and vowed to never go back.

His house was quiet when he arrived.

The sun shone through the curtains, which were still drawn when he walked in.

Ryan hushed the dog and pet her head as she jumped on him in greeting.

He hung up his keys, took off his shoes, and went to the kitchen. His stomach growled as he opened the cabinet and grabbed a cereal box.

It was almost empty, but there was enough for a full serving.

Ryan sat down with his cereal after discarding the box. He decided to spend his first morning of the weekend after he lost his virginity avoiding listening to his voicemails and eating cereal that had leprechauns on the box.

Not the most dignified way to prove one’s achievement of manhood, but Ryan knew he was in deep shit, and he felt it was the reasonable way to cope.

He pulled out his phone and ignored the voicemails. He went straight to his texts.

Ryan needed answers.

_why did you go?_ He typed into the message box.

He changed the contact from the number to finally a name.

Brendon.

Ryan sent the message, the wait for a response doing nothing for his nerves.

He poked at the last bits of cereal in his bowl until they fell apart and little wet flakes of marshmallow scattered around in the milk. Then he set down his bowl to let Hobo lick away the rest.

Ryan observed the hound dog as she padded over, wagging, and lapped at the milk in the bowl.

Ryan made a face and checked his phone again.

Still nothing.

He grabbed it, shoving it in his pocket.

Ryan went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He wanted to freshen up, wake himself up the rest of the way, and try to relax his spiraling nerves.

He stripped and stepped in after the water warmed.

Ryan breathed deeply, closing his eyes as the warm water soothed muscles he didn’t even know were sore.

He rubbed his chest, still feeling where a bit of cum had dried on him.

Ryan washed himself and thought of the boy.

He thought about what he felt like. How warm and gentle he was. His eyes, his lips, his ass, his sounds...

Ryan got goosebumps on the back of his neck.

He licked his lips, remembering Brendon’s taste.

On him, in him, all consuming, pulling him in for more. He was submissive and needy. Ryan could see it in the boy’s eyes that he wanted more, more, more as Ryan’s fingers would twist...

Ryan whimpered softly and grabbed his dick, starting to work up a little bit of a morning erection.

He dreamed of what it would be like if Brendon was with him now.

They could’ve had nice morning after shower sex.

Brendon bracing himself against the tiles of the shower wall as Ryan would press himself snugly to the boy’s hips. He’d hold on and rub around the other male’s hole, teasing before he sank into his deep, tight, wet bliss...

“_Fuck._” Ryan huffed and stroked himself until he was harder.

He thought of Brendon scratching at the tiles, making his magical, sexy porn-worthy noises as Ryan fucked him balls-deep.

_”Ah-ah-ohh Ry. Mmh baby, please, more-“_ Brendon would beg, and hell, Ryan would give it to him.

He’d give anything to him.

Their bodies would smack together and the wet, slapping sound of skin on skin would echo through the bathroom. Ryan would bury his face in Brendon’s shoulders, leaving sloppy kisses as he thrusted hard.

Ryan was breathier as he worked himself. He put one hand up on the tiles, leaning forward on it as he started moving his hips to match the motions of his fist.

He bit down on his bottom lip, whining as he thought of Brendon on his knees.

The boy would muzzle at the tip of his dick, softly licking and teasing before he’d close his slutty lips around the shaft.

He’d lick, suck, tug, twist, and deep throat just to see how far he could push Ryan before he couldn’t hold back anymore.

He’d take it all like he was hellbent on making Ryan lose control and cum so hard that he’d see stars.

“Shit, _baby_-“ Ryan purred, tossing his head back, water from the shower head trickling into his mouth.

He thrusted a little harder into his fist, consumed with the urgency of needing to get off.

Ryan never could last in Brendon’s perfect, sinful mouth.

He remembered how wet and hot it felt. The saliva made his thrusts so much smoother. The suction made his knees fucking weak...

Ryan grunted as his body tensed up, his dick twitching in his fist as he slid it up and down.

Brendon had Ryan mesmerized with all his tricks and techniques. He knew what to do and he owned it.

Ryan thought of fucking Brendon’s mouth. Pushing past the boy’s spit-slick lips, looking into his eyes, a dirty kind of innocence in his expression, a dirty moan rising up the back of his throat-

“Fuck fuck fuck _fuck_ gonna cum...” Ryan panted and hunched over.

He opened his eyes, staring down at the drain as water collected in it.

His jaw dropped and he let out a filthy gasp as he fucking exploded in his fist.

Ryan squeezed, pumped, and twisted his wrist, milking out his orgasm.

His eyesight got a little fuzzy as euphoria raced through his veins. The hormones were thrown about as Ryan came down from his climax.

He released his aching, spent member and nearly collapsed against the shower tiles, trying to catch his breath.

Ryan had only been away from Brendon for one morning and he already missed him.

He cleared his throat as he came out of his haze. He felt sleepy, cleaning the remains of his orgasm off his hand and inner thigh.

Ryan startled and knocked over a bar of soap when the door suddenly swung open, slamming into the wall.

“Ryan, is that you?” Shane’s harsh voice barked from the other side of the shower door.

Ryan shivered in fear, covering himself with his hands, even though Shane couldn’t see him.

“Y-yeah I’m... I’m here.”

“The hell you are.” Shane sounded angry. “So I take it you’re not answering calls anymore huh? Real classy Ryan. Real fucking classy.”

Ryan blinked, still in shock. He buried his face in his shaking hands and tried to calm the fuck down.

“We agreed to help Gabe to move today, in case your sorry ass forgot again.” Shane snapped before Ryan could manage an apology. “We have to go in 10 minutes so I’d suggest you hurry the fuck up.”

With that, Shane slammed the door behind him, making Ryan shudder again.

He took a couple minutes and tried to clear his mind, knowing Shane could’ve nearly walked in on him doing, well...

Ryan shook his head, turned off the water, and breathed.

So much for a relaxing morning shower.

He knew karma was coming for his ass.

Ryan grabbed his towel and started getting ready to leave.

He was tense the whole drive to Gabe’s.

Shane was blaring heavy metal music. All Ryan wanted to do was sulk and eventually fall asleep.

They pulled up to Gabe’s house, Ryan went to get out of the car, but Shane grabbed his arm.

“Nuh-uh, not so fast.” Shane pulled Ryan back.

Ryan frowned, looking back at the other man, wondering what he wanted.

“We aren’t going anywhere until you explain last night.” He sounded completely accusing as he looked Ryan up and down with suspicion. “You’ve had the whole drive to fess up. Now say it.”

Ryan was tense as hell. There was no way Shane knew, was there?

He’d done well to cover up, choosing clothes that lay over all the scratches and bruises. Still, he felt like Shane had known his guilt.

“I was out.”

Shane didn’t look convinced.

Ryan played nervously with the fringe of his scarf. “I got drunk and passed out in the car.” He explained, hoping Shane wouldn’t see through his lie.

Clearly Shane did, because he huffed and let Ryan go.

“Stupid kid.” He angrily pulled his keys out of ignition. “One of these days I’m gonna get a call and they’re gonna say _Ryan’s dead_. We’ll all know why.”

Shane’s words took a hard stab at Ryan’s heart. He watched as Shane went up to the house, his stomach turning, he felt shaky and queasy.

He got out of the car and tried to hide his pain as he greeted his friends.

By they time Ryan and Shane had arrived, everything was already in boxes, taken to the moving truck.

Ryan shook hands with Dan and helped him lift a couch.

“Two skinny asses lifting the heaviest furniture? Someone get that on tape!” Alex enthused from across the room.

Dan laughed; Ryan tried not to look fucked and out of breath.

“You alright there?” A slightly concerned Dan asked once they had the couch stacked like a jenga block on top of some boxes.

Ryan made a face, turning away from the chit-chat of the rest of the group.

“Woke up on the wrong side, I guess.” He stepped back and rubbed his nose.

“Don’t lose heart. You’ll get better.” Dan have a Ryan a comforting pat on the back. “What do you say we’ll have breakfast at Jack In The Box? My treat.”

Ryan agreed and finished helping load the furniture before taking a break, leaving with Dan while everyone else headed over to Gabe’s new place.

Dan turned the radio on low when they both got in his car.

A gentle piano melody leaked from the speakers, one Ryan recognized, but he had forgotten the title.

Something in E flat.

“How’ve you been doing, Ryan?” Dan broke the awkward silence, much to Ryan’s relief.

He stared out the window and picked at his seatbelt.

“Fine, I guess? I’ve been taking overtime at work, and I’ll be doing it regularly, so I’m a little stressed. Besides that I’m fine though.” Ryan ranted, not wanting to share any of the finer details.

“It’s too bad that you’re stressed.” Dan uttered sympathetically. “Why are you working overtime? Did your rent go up?”

Ryan knew Dan didn’t mean to be nosy, but all the questions made him squirm.

“No, I just... I want to move out? I’ve lived with Shane for so long. He’s okay and all, but I want to live somewhere on my own.”

Dan hummed in agreement with Ryan. “If you need somewhere to stay while you look for a place, you can crash with me. No charge. Just until you have somewhere you can go.” He offered kindly.

Ryan looked over at Dan, offered a smile, and thanked him. “I appreciate the offer.” He murmured in gratitude. “It would be easier though to stay where I’m at, then when I move out I can just be in my own place by then anyways.”

Dan was a bit disappointed by the rejection, but he understood Ryan’s need to preserve his dignity.

“Best of luck on that. I mean it.” Dan said as he pulled up to the Jack In The Box and parked.

“Thank you, Dan.” Ryan got out of the car and went in to the fast food place.

Ryan got a breakfast platter, Dan got a cheeseburger.

They sat down together at the back with their cups of orange juice.

“Where were you thinking of moving to?” Dan inquired curiously.

Ryan shrugs.

“Anywhere close, really. I was thinking of getting an apartment unit closer to my work, but those places aren’t really safe. I’ll take what I can get, though.”

Dan took a sip of orange juice and bobbed his head in agreement.

Ryan felt satisfied with his small fib for now. It seemed the fibs would be piling up over time.

He looked out the window at a homeless woman with an over stacked shopping cart. He dreaded to think he could end up like her someday if he wasn’t careful.

“What else has been on your mind?”

Ryan looked back over at Dan, feeling small under the taller man’s piercing gaze.

He knew he’d have to admit it eventually.

“I can’t stop thinking about that night at the club.” Ryan admitted with guilt.

“Is it about the prostitute?” Dan tilted his head in innocent intrigue.

It sounded negative coming out of Dan’s mouth, although he meant no negativity by it. Ryan knew that.

“Yes.” Ryan fessed up with a long face. “I think I really liked him.”

“Oh Ryan...” Dan pat Ryan’s wrist. “That’s alright.”

“I know, I know.” Ryan pulled back his hand and looked over as the number of their order was called. “Just a sec, I’ll be right back.”

He went up to the front counter and grabbed the ordered food, sitting back down with Dan.

“This is yours.” Ryan shoved the cheeseburger to Dan’s side of the platter.

Dan murmured a “thank you” and expectantly looked back at Ryan.

Ryan nodded and was grabbing a plastic fork, avoiding Dan’s gaze.

“Are you seeing him?”

Ryan paused, staring down a sausage on his plate.

“So you are.” Dan said knowingly.

He always seemed to find a way into Ryan’s head.

“Dating? Or-“

“You can only pay to see him as far as I’m aware.” Ryan leaned back in his seat and tensed up. “It’s only so far you can get... With boys like that...”

Dan saw Ryan’s frown and knew he had opened the door to a sad situation.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

They were silent after that.

The ride to Gabe’s new home would’ve been peaceful had Ryan not been thinking about the boy the whole time.

He internally battled himself about whether or not it was all worth it for him. What if Brendon didn't really like him after all and just wanted the money?

Then Ryan thought about it the other way around.

What if Brendon truly liked him, but continued to be a stripper?

Ryan wasn’t prejudiced per se but he preferred to keep it exclusive in an intimate relationship. Every past one had ended with him getting cheated on, and it made him something of a jealous person when it came to someone he cared about.

His mind was stuck on the dilemma as him and Dan rejoined with the group and started unloading all Gabe’s shit from the truck.

“How can one guy own so much junk?” Alex complained aside to Ryan.

Ryan shrugged and mumbled an absentminded “I don’t know” as he crossed the living room.

He paused for a moment in the kitchen, hearing his phone beep in his pocket.

He pulled out his phone and a smile crept across his lips.

_Sorry, had to. I’ll see you again?_ Brendon had finally replied.

It was sad for Ryan, but he was still excited for an answer nonetheless.

_meet up again?_

Ryan nervously dug his heel into the ground as he waited for a reply. He went to the cooler Alex had brought in and he got himself a sprite.

He didn’t know what time it was. He didn’t care.

He took a few sips and checked his phone again.

Ryan’s heart skipped a beat.

_You say when. I’m yours. ;)_


	6. Where It All Began

This time around Ryan had no interest in meeting up at a club, a street, or hotel.

He wanted something different, something far more special than the back end of a club that stank of weed or a hotel room with peeling windows.

Ryan was taking Brendon to a restaurant.

He didn’t just want a dirty hook up. He’d grown fonder of the boy than he cared to admit, and he wanted to treat him to a date.

Over the phone, Brendon had agreed, sounding enthusiastic at the idea.

_“Yes, I’d love to! Six thirty would be perfect.” _Brendon had expressed with excitement.

Ryan could feel his smile at the other end, even thought he couldn’t see the boy’s face, he could tell that pretty grin was there.

Ryan wanted it to be a proper date. He knew it was probably wishful thinking that he wanted the boy to be his, but he could dream couldn’t he?

He showed up in nicer clothes than he usually would wear. He picked out some slacks and a button down with a brown blazer.

Dress to impress, right?

Brendon was going to meet up with him alone in the parking lot. He had come to the crosswalk and trotted straight over to Ryan.

He was in a pretty little tan vest and his hair looked soft.

Ryan beamed, his chest fluttering with excitement, and they hugged.

Brendon smelled nice. Ryan was sure he caught a whiff of a new cologne before they pulled apart.

Maybe he’d remember the scent to think about later.

“How are you? It’s nice to see you!” Brendon was beaming at Ryan, lifting his brows and shifting to stand closer.

“I’m doing okay. I hope you brought your appetite, they have amazing food here.”

They walked up to the restaurant together, Ryan holding open the door for the other male.

“I did. I’m excited.” Brendon seemed to bounce a little on his feet as they went in.

The smell of warm bread throughout the restaurant filled their senses as the door swung closed behind them.

Ryan had made a booth reservation for two, so they didn’t have to wait in a line to be seated.

They followed the waitress to their table and sat opposite each other next to the window, getting a perfect view over the street.

They were handed their menus and they ordered soda.

“This place is nice. I’ve been by it but never the actual inside.” Brendon enthused, looking around and admiring the aesthetic.

Ryan couldn’t help but smile as Brendon’s eyes lit up. He had a whole sparkle about him that Ryan hadn’t even been able to see in the few meet ups prior.

Brendon seemed more relaxed and natural. His full lips were curled into a puppy-like smile and...

He looked back at Ryan, beaming even more.

Ryan chuckled. “You’re so cute, you know that?”

Brendon pretended to scoff and make a face. He squished his cheeks and fake frowned.

Ryan laughed a little more, sitting back slightly when the waitress came back with their drinks.

They asked for a little extra time to look at what they wanted for food, so the waitress gave them some fresh baked bread and left.

“I think you’re pretty.” Brendon winked playfully, answering Ryan’s previous comment.

Ryan scoffed at this, shaking his head. “Thanks I think?” He was amused by the other male’s flirtiness. It was subtle but sweet.

In the club and in the presence of the pimp, he seemed subdued and submissive. But now he was sassing back, having a nice little time.

Ryan was careful to appreciate the mood while he still had it.

“What do you think you’re gonna get?” He broke the silence, taking a moment to actually look at his menu.

He looked over and Brendon had his menu upside down. The other male seemed to review it studiously.

Ryan snorted, reached over, and flipped the menu back around.

Brendon pretended to be aghast at this.

“She gave it to me like that so I thought it just had to be that way.”

Ryan chuckled and shook his head, making a noise of amused disapproval. He was loving the other male’s little antics. He found them endearing.

Brendon shoved his nose in his menu and Ryan decided to look at the sandwiches.

He couldn’t help but glance over his menu every now and then to see Brendon’s adorable expressions.

The other male was making faces at his menu, pretending to be puzzled, clearly.

Ryan noticed how Brendon’s eyes seemed glued to the bottom of the first page, so Ryan decided to flip to it and see what the boy had been so fixated on.

He really should’ve known. Brendon had been staring at the salads.

He wasn’t sure if it was because Brendon was fooling around, wanting to be a cheap date, or maybe he wanted to watch his calories, but Ryan wasn’t going to have that.

“You know you can get whatever you want. My treat.” Ryan felt like he had to clarify.

He would’ve felt guilty if he chose some fancy sandwich and Brendon only got a lifeless bowl of greens.

Brendon looked up from his menu, looking like he’d been caught, then he looked back down at his menu.

“All the options.” He mused, turning the page.

Ryan felt content at this. “Do you get taken on dates ever?” He asked out of pure curiosity.

Brendon was good looking, sure he could give a look and get some guy to buy him dinner?

The boy shook his head, not looking up from his menu.

“No.” He spoke solemnly. “I’m not pretty enough for dates. I can hardly get clients. I’m skinny and I still have acne, most just want me to blow ‘em and leave.”

Ryan was a little startled by the forwardness, but he felt bad for Brendon almost immediately. He was gorgeous, what was he talking about?

He hardly had any noticeable skin problems, and his form was perfect in Ryan’s eyes.

It was a tiny bit of a relief that Brendon wasn’t getting passed from guy to guy like most of the hot blonde chicks in strip clubs, but Ryan realized that probably meant more strain on the boy to make a living.

“How did you, uh...” Ryan trailed off, feeling bad for being so nosy, but he didn’t know what else to talk about and Brendon seemed responsive enough. “How did you get into the, y’know-“

“Stripping?” Brendon finally met Ryan’s eyes.

Brendon glanced at his menu one more time, closed it, and set it aside, abandoning it for conversation.

“Yeah.” Ryan mouthed, feeling guilty for bringing it up.

Brendon grabbed his cloth napkin and unfolded it, taking out the silverware and cutting into one of the small loaves of bread on the center of the table.

“I was kicked out by my parents at seventeen years old. I lived on friends’ couches for a couple months, but by my eighteenth birthday I got fired from my job.”

Brendon put his bread on his plate and opened a pack of butter.

“I had nowhere to go after that. I needed to move and make fast money. I pounce at the first shitty room I can rent and get hooked up with one of my friends who was a drug dealer. He was a pimp too, as I found out. Solidified that connection, he got me in his club, now I’m fresh on the job.”

Ryan listened as Brendon related his story. He pitied the other male’s hardship, but it was too out of Ryan’s depth to relate to.

The one thing he really didn’t understand was how people like Brendon could give of their bodies in that way for cash.

Risking everything, subjecting themselves to sexual harassment and criticism, even risking imprisonment, but they still do it.

Brendon was attractive enough to play the part, but Ryan also realized he was really fucking young.

What a rude awakening to the realities of the world.

Brendon ate some bread. “It sucks because all the older ones with more experience get all the attention. Everything is competitions in the clubs, on the streets, in hotel rooms... It seemed like easy money. Damn, was that a lie.”

Ryan felt that his curiosity had been satisfied for now.

It stayed in the back of his mind as they talked and ate some more.

He’d look every now and then, wondering just how many people had the pleasure of making Brendon theirs.

The idea made Ryan burn a little with jealousy, so he vowed to put it out of his mind for the rest of the night.

They went to a movie after their nice little dinner date.

Ryan had let Brendon choose what he wanted to see and where he wanted to see it.

They settled for a drive-in theater.

Brendon had never been to one and eventually Ryan got to talking about how he used to go all the time with his grandfather.

The movie that was showing was **A Star Is Born**, a movie about an alcoholic, drug addicted man in a country band who fell in love with a woman at a bar who had a pretty voice and_ “ugly nose.”_

Brendon laughed at Ryan’s description of it, but he was fair game.

Ryan paid for the tickets, then getting popcorn and drinks for the both of them.

They sat in the car together with the windows down as they waited for the movie to start.

“What kind of movies do you like best?” Ryan figured he’d ask.

He wanted to know Brendon’s taste, his preferences, and what really made him excited.

“All kinds. Comedy, action, drama, musical, you name it. I like a little bit of everything.”

Brendon reclined his seat and undid his seatbelt. He kicked off his shoes, putting his feet up on the dashboard.

Ryan chuckled, although he didn’t mind it, but it felt nice how Brendon seemed to really be making himself comfortable.

“I’m really into era movies right now.” Ryan folded his arms on top of the steering wheel, grabbing his drink off the dashboard and taking a sip.

“**Great Gatsby**, **West Side Story**, **Across The Universe**, things like that. Things different. Things older.” Ryan rambled a little bit and hoped Brendon was interested.

“Those are all good movies.” Brendon smiled in agreement. “A little while back ago I saw a show, well, a movie, called **The Matrix** have you ever heard of it?”

Ryan shook his head. “No.” He said softly.

“Oh. Well anyways it’s about people who are trapped in a simulation so machines can feed off their energy. But then this guy who’s a programmer breaks the system and leads a rebellion against The Matrix. It’s such a good movie. It gave me chills.”

Brendon chuckled. He seemed to curl in on himself for a moment to emphasize his point. “I’d totally recommend it. Maybe don’t watch it at night though.”

Ryan laughed a little bit with Brendon.

The movie started, but he was still a tiny bit distracted with their conversation.

“We should do a movie night. Binge all the best ones at my place, we can stay up until we pass out.” Ryan offered in a playful but serious tone.

He wanted more time with Brendon. Fuck, he didn’t want this night to end.

“Sick! Let’s do it. I’m in.” Brendon looked over at Ryan dreamily.

Ryan caught his gaze and noticed there was a sparkle in his eyes. Somehow the one look softened him.

Brendon looked so innocently, genuinely happy.

It wasn’t like Ryan had seen before. He could’ve tricked himself into thinking this was just another night with his boyfriend.

They’d eventually go back to Ryan’s, take their clothes off, and slip into a new world of bliss.

They would fall asleep tangled in one another, and wake up the same way.

Everything would be seamless, they’d have breakfast together, go to work, come home and let the cycle begin again.

It was a nice vision that Ryan would let himself hang on to for when he was alone.

They both were leaned back in their seats as they watched the movie together.

Little comments and giggles would happen here or there, but for the most part, it was silence.

They shared a bag of popcorn. Sometimes their buttery, salted fingertips would brush together.

They’d exchange looks and break into grins.

Eventually they both started to lean on each other, slowly snuggling up, abandoning the empty bag of popcorn between them.

Somehow there was nothing in the back of Ryan’s mind the entire night about how he was on a date with a stripper.

He didn’t even think of having to pay Brendon when the day was done. It was just them and conversation and physical closeness, closing out the rest of the world.

What could be better than an escape like this?

The ending of the movie left Brendon in tears. Ryan had seen the movie a few times before, and had become immune to the shock.

Still, he didn’t hesitate to wipe away Brendon’s tears, holding and coddling him.

“Are you ok?” Ryan rubbed Brendon’s back as he blew his nose into a napkin. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to spoil it for you, though.”

Brendon sniffled and nodded. Mumbling a soft _“I’m fine,”_ and burying his face in Ryan’s shoulder.

Ryan hoped he hadn’t emotionally traumatized the other male. He offered to take Brendon to get dessert after, and he seemed to perk up a little at that.

Ryan decided to take Brendon to get a dessert from a drive-thru, wanting to cheer him up.

They went through a Sonic. Ryan bought Brendon a strawberry milkshake and an ice cream sandwich, only getting a vanilla milkshake for himself.

“Feel better?” Ryan smiled as Brendon went wide eyed at his sugary treats, immediately ripping the packaging off his ice cream.

“Much.” Brendon smiled and took a bite.

His tears had dried and he seemed in better spirits, leaving Ryan feeling better about the situation.

“Where do you want to go next?” Ryan asked softly, knowing it was late, and they had no other plans.

He wasn’t sure if Brendon wanted to go home, if he wanted to go home with Ryan, or go out and do more things.

Ryan knew it was a mess at home, and Shane was probably there too, which wasn’t such an ideal circumstance to bring Brendon into.

Then he thought, maybe they could spend more time together, make the night last.

“Actually, um... I should probably go back to my car?” Brendon suggested, so Ryan made a turn to head back to the restaurant.

“Yeah, sorry, but I have to pick up something before I go home. I forgot about it.”

Ryan shook his head like it was no problem at all. “That’s fine. I’ll take you back.” He said with a reassuring smile.

Brendon looked back at him, smiling too and having a sip of his milkshake.

“We’ll do this again, won’t we?” Brendon turned a little so he was facing Ryan.

His eyes sparkled as he grinned at the other male.

“Sure we can.” Ryan put his hand on the back of Brendon’s neck, gently rubbing circles there. “We’ve got to.”

Brendon nodded in agreement and melted into Ryan’s touch.

“Thank you for tonight.” Brendon uttered shyly. “I really had a nice time.”

“As did I.” Ryan played with the hair at the nape of the boy’s neck, loving how soft it was.

He drove them back to the parking lot and he pulled up next to Brendon’s car, stopping to let him out.

“Here it is. Call me okay? I want to see you again.” Brendon got out of the car, coming around to Ryan’s side. Ryan rolled down his window and smiled at the boy. “We’ll have to hang out longer next time... We can do more things.”

Brendon’s soft voice was low and suggestive. He folded his arms over the car door, looking deep into Ryan’s eyes.

“Yeah...” Ryan got lost in the other male’s gaze.

They drew closer and closer. Ryan’s heart rate sped up as Brendon leaned forward, their faces only centimeters from touching.

Ryan closed his eyes and Brendon closed the gap, their lips meeting in a soft, tentative kiss.

It was short and sweet. The boy pulled away, grinning wide.

Ryan was star struck with the other male. He wanted more, but he knew it was for another time.

“When will I see you?” Brendon squirmed a little, hesitating to leave.

Ryan thought of when he could make time for Brendon, knowing if he didn’t then other things would quickly fill up his days.

He thought for a moment before he finally decided.

“I’ll see you Friday.” Ryan let his fingers trace over the backs of Brendon’s soft hands. “Then we can spend all night together.”

Brendon let his fingers interlace with Ryan’s, gently holding hands, warm skin against skin.

“Friday it is, Ryan.” Brendon purred, lifting Ryan’s hand.

“I’ll miss you.” Ryan’s tone was sad, but also excited as he was looking forward to seeing more of the boy.

“I’ll miss you too.” Brendon squeezed Ryan’s hand before he let go, starting towards his car. “Bye.” He waved.

Ryan waved back and watched Brendon go to his car, unlocking it and getting in.

He started up his own car and pulled out of the parking lot. He looked back in his rear view mirror as Brendon headed the other direction.

He watched the car turn and drive away.

Ryan stayed there for a moment, mourning Brendon’s absence. He looked over at Brendon’s seat, reclined some with the ice cream wrapper still remaining on the seat.

He smiled a bit to himself and decided to take another route home.

Ryan wanted to take some extra time in going home, hoping Shane would be sleeping and no longer a nuisance by the time he was back.

He had a lot of thinking to do.

He thought of the future and how life could be with Brendon.

Ryan could see it in his mind’s eye. A reality where he was Brendon’s and Brendon was his.

They wouldn’t be for anybody else’s hands anymore.

Just them and love and sex and exclusive intimacy.

Ryan wanted to trace his steps back to the start to remember where they both had met, where Brendon really came from.

He pulled aside onto the street that he’d been on for his twenty-first birthday, piling out of a van with his friends.

To get laid, potentially.

That night, Ryan found something much more valuable than sex. He just hadn’t known it yet.

He parked across from the club and looked on.

The club was bright and alive. It was late at night.

Ryan traced his fingers over the seams of the steering wheel. He stared on and remembered the first night with Brendon.

He reflected on how different things had been in just a matter of one night.

Ryan started up his car again and went home, the only thing on his mind being a harnessed boy running through a hookah club, enchanting all who looked his way.


	7. Slow Motion

Hobo was wiggling her tail as she proudly trotted over to Ryan with her new chew toy.

She’d shove it against his thigh as he laid on his bed, watching another documentary, too comfy to get up and play.

Every time Ryan would reach for the toy to play tug-of-war, the mini Beagle would retreat and play keep away.

Ryan chuckled at his playful dog and gave up, letting her win.

His phone started to ring, so he picked it up and answered with a soft _”hello?”_

“Ryan.” A gentle voice purred on the other end of the line.

His lips curled into a smile and he looked over at Hobo as she chewed on her toy.

“Bren.” Ryan turned down his tv and relaxed against his pillow, grinning wide. “Spent your late night thinking about me?” He teased.

The comment earned a laugh from Brendon. “I dropped my mayonnaise jar and thought-“

“Alright, that’s enough of that.” Ryan pretended to be annoyed although he was holding back a laugh.

“No! I was kidding. I’m kidding.” Brendon giggled.

Ryan’s heart fluttered. Even over the phone, the boy was still just as angelic.

“I can’t sleep.” Brendon’s voice turned soft. “So in case you were up, I wanted to talk.”

“I’m up.” Ryan looked over and saw it was almost one a.m.

He didn’t typically stay up this late, but he had been sucked into a show about Ancient Rome, and somehow time flew.

“What did you do today?”

“Work. Laundry. Drink.” Ryan answered, grabbing what was left of his beer. “Thursday nights.”

Brendon made a noise at the other end that said he agreed.

“What about you? How are you?”

Brendon hummed in thought. “I just got off work. I missed my bus, though. So I have to wait for the next one. There’s a really creepy guy here giving me looks so I decided to try and shoot a call since you’d most likely be the only one up.”

Ryan frowned, fearing for Brendon’s safety.

“Can you wait somewhere else? It’s gotta be cold outside.”

“No, I’m fine. I can take care of myself. It was just making me anxious.” Brendon explained.

“I’m here.” Ryan hummed reassuringly. “You need me to give you a ride home?” He decided to offer.

He didn’t live far from the club, and he didn’t want Brendon out in the cold to be taken by some creep.

“No, no. I mean it, I’m fine. All I wanted was someone to talk to.” Brendon sniffled. “I get stuck in my head sometimes.”

Ryan was able to relax a little bit. Somehow the boy’s voice calmed him.

Hobo came over and decided to sit in Ryan’s lap, abandoning her toy. He rubbed her back as he held his phone to his ear.

“I get it.” Ryan was able to sympathize. “I’m excited to see you tomorrow.”

“I’m excited to see you, too.” Brendon sounded in better spirits as he called to mind their agreement about Friday. “I miss kissing.”

Ryan was smiling and nodding along until he realized what Brendon had just said about the kissing.

Wait, wasn’t part of Brendon’s job kissing his clients? Was this something he didn’t allow?

Ryan’s head started to spin a little.

Did Brendon mean that kissing as an exclusive thing between them two?

His heart skipped a beat. Ryan knew it was possible that was what Brendon meant by it, but surely they weren’t...

Or were they?

“You still there, Ry?” Brendon’s voice dropped, sounding a little sad at the other end.

Ryan realized he had been silent as he tried to process all of this.

“I’m here, sorry, I spaced out.” He frowned in embarrassment.

“Oh it’s okay. I wanted to be sure I didn’t lose you.” The boy sounded warm and affectionate. “The next bus is coming. I’ll talk to you soon though? It’s about... Eighteen and a half hours before we meet up?”

“Six thirty like last time.” Ryan smiled, thinking of the time they’d spend together.

“Great. Good.” Brendon chuckled a little bit, making Ryan’s grin a bit bigger. “See ya, Ry.”

“Bye, B.” Ryan said softly, then the line went dead, and he looked down at his dog who was staring at him expectantly.

“Your dad’s got a date tomorrow.” Ryan murmured with a grin.

Hobo wagged her tail although she couldn’t have had had any idea what that meant for her.

Ryan pat her head and stood up, letting her scramble out of his lap as he went to the kitchen to grab a glass of warm vanilla milk to drink before he went to bed.

He went to the fridge and grabbed the milk carton. When he turned around, suddenly he was faced with Shane’s figure also in the kitchen, startling him and almost making him drop the milk.

“Shit, man. You scared me.” Ryan breathed out heavily, nearly panicked.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to sneak up on ya.” Shane raised his hands in fake surrender. “I came to grab the chips.”

Ryan reached up to the top of the fridge and passed Shane the chips. They exchanged manners.

“Who were you talking to?” Shane asked as Ryan poured himself a glass of milk.

“Oh. Nobody.” Ryan tried not to sound obvious, but instead ending up sounding a little bit suspicious.

“You know I don’t buy that.” Shane leaned against the sink and ripped open the chip bag. “Who was it?”

Ryan gnawed on his inner cheek, not wanting to spill any details.

“Just a friend.” He murmured timidly and put back the milk.

The crunching sound coming from Shane’s mouth almost was like nails on chalkboard to Ryan’s ears.

He knew he had his life, and it was none of Shane’s business, but still somehow he felt guilty for what he was hiding.

“You’ve been gone so much.” Shane sounded accusing. “How much overtime have you put in by now?”

Ryan shrugged, not really wanting to deal with the numbers.

He leaned against the fridge, nearly knocking a magnet onto the floor, but he caught it and put it back.

“Are you getting much extra for your time?” Shane probed further.

Ryan felt a little queasy. “I get paid for my overtime.” He folded his arms, his subconscious telling him to be on guard.

“You’ve been disappearing, Ryan. Don’t think it’s slipped by me.” Shane’s voice carried more weight to it.

Ryan wanted nothing more than to have this over with.

“What I do with my time is for me, Shane. Why do you care?” He snapped back, sick of interrogation.

“I don’t know if you see it or not, but you haven’t been right. I know you think I’m fucking retarded, Ryan. But I’m not. So why don’t you pull your ponyboy ass out of la la land and tell me what the fuck’s up, huh?”

Shane’s tongue was sharp and Ryan could taste his venom as he spoke louder.

Ryan wanted to cover his ears, run to his room, and never face his problems ever again.

He could hide from the world if he chose to, get a life off-grid, live free with nobody to tell him what for.

“It’s none of your business! You have your own life, fuck off! Let me have mine! All I ever do is try so fucking hard to be good enough for my job and still keep the few people in my life that can still fucking stand me. Piss off, not every shitty little thing is about you, Shane!”

Both males were still and tense as they faced each other.

Ryan wanted to curl up in an anxious ball and burrow deep underground. Shane stood firm.

He made a few faces before finally setting the chips aside on the countertop. Shane shook his head.

“I think what it comes down to is you don’t fucking appreciate at all the things I do for you, Ryan.” Shane tried manipulate the younger male.

“Like what?” Ryan stepped into Shane’s space. “You’re always picking on me. You’re always asking where I’m going, what I’m up to, and who I’m with. As if you deserve to know. You push me around and humiliate me in front of my friends. We have an equal share in this house and that aside, you’re a controlling asshole.”

Ryan didn’t expect his words to come out like they did, but in the heat of the moment, it felt right.

It felt good to finally stand up to himself after two years of living in the shitty nonsense that was being a roommate with Shane.

It was a sad, pathetic joke.

“I do these things because I care about you.” Shane’s voice was somehow calm and bitter at the same time.

What was that supposed to mean? Why would he care at all?

“I try and pull you closer, but all you want is to pull away from me.” Shane rubbed his head and-

Oh.

_Oh._

Oh fuck no.

It couldn’t be true?

“What are you talking about?” Ryan stammered in understandable confusion.

He stood in shock, not even believing what he was listening to.

“As if it hasn’t been completely obvious the whole time.” Shane started to turn away. “I guess you’re too blind-“

“Hey now, stop that!” Ryan shoved into Shane’s shoulder, making the older male turn back around to face him. “That isn’t fair and you know it. I had no reason to think you felt like that. No reason at all. Why would I even notice when you treat me like this? You act like you fucking hate me.”

Shane’s lips set tight and his eyes were squinted.

He was stupefied. Ryan was right and there was nothing he could say or do to prove him wrong.

“I think we should split off.” Shane started getting unusually solemn. “This whole being roommates thing clearly isn’t doing us any good.”

Ryan blew out an exasperated breath.

Fuck, how could Shane of all people like him?

In the beginning, things were so much different.

They seemed to click in so many ways. They hit it off good and had plans as friends.

Still, somewhere along the way Shane cracked and became the shell of himself. Hollow and breakable.

“We weren’t together.” Ryan said softly, beginning to realize what all this really meant. “I can’t think of you like that.” He added in a firm tone.

Shane nodded and backed off at last.

“I’ll give you twenty days to go. Take your shit, don’t bother with rent for the month. I’ll take care of it. Like I take care of everything.”

Ryan watched quietly as Shane turned his back and walked away.

Ryan was left alone in the kitchen wondering what the hell that conversation was even about.

Nothing at all made sense. He didn’t want to think about it. He wanted to turn his headphones up and blast music until he was deafened and passed out from how hard his heart was beating in his chest.

Ryan stared down at the glass of milk he had sitting on the countertop.

He microwaved it and then sipped on it as he went to his room.

Ryan closed his door behind him, trying to manage his breathing.

Hobo looked up at him like he should’ve been in bed with her already. His insides agreed, and he climbed into bed, adjusting himself so he was upright with his back against his pillow.

He drank the warm glass of milk and then laid down, turning over into his pillow.

Ryan swallowed, his chest feeling heavy, anchoring him to the mattress.

He knew he’d made a mistake moving in with Shane. He would never have guessed things would end up this way.

Nobody else would want to live with Ryan.

He would end up all by himself, wherever he moved would be how own responsibility to take care of, he wouldn’t get help anymore.

Ryan was completely and utterly alone.

He reached over with shaking hands to text Brendon.

_I wish i was with you tonight,_ he typed out and sent it on an impulse.

Ryan set his phone down on his night stand, pulling the covers over himself and burying his face in his pillow.

Everything came slow, but then it hit hard, and tears started to escape him.

One by one until his eyes were flooded.

Ryan shoved his face in his pillow. His chest burned and his stomach would heave a little as he cried into his pillow, letting out the emotions that had been long overdue for release.

He desired nothing more than to have Brendon here with him. Snuggled against his back. Holding him until it didn’t hurt anymore.

“Fuck, I’m so alone.” Ryan choked out into the pillow.

Hobo nuzzled into his leg and laid there, staying with him through the night as he cried himself to sleep.

The next morning was hard for Ryan. His heart was so weighed down that he could hardly get out of bed.

With a little persistence and whiny nuzzling from Hobo, he peeled the cold sheets off his body to let her outside.

Ryan shivered as cold early morning air hit him.

He pretended like his eyes were watering from shock and not from pain.

After Ryan let Hobo back inside, he got ready for the day and dragged himself to work, Shane already having left since he was always gone an hour earlier.

The day seemed to drag on, making Ryan’s head spin.

There wasn’t much work to do since it was Friday, making it even harder for Ryan to not lose his mind.

He was filled with such pain and disappointment, thinking Shane had been on his side, but instead only was thinking of himself the whole time.

Everything made sense now, and suddenly the four years they’d known each other really didn’t amount to anything.

Ryan checked his texts at his lunch break since he was too withdrawn to look earlier in the day.

He hadn’t gotten any reply from Brendon about the night before.

He shouldn’t have expected it, but part of him wondered why the boy hadn’t said anything yet.

Ryan would go about his day as usual and hope Brendon was still going to spend time with him that evening.

After work, Ryan felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his back.

He was free for the weekend. He went out for drinks with Gabe and Dan to pass the time so he wouldn’t spend an hour in self pity as he waited to see Brendon.

“Ryan! Ryyyaaannn. Hellooo, are you listening?” Gabe waved his hand in front of Ryan’s face.

Ryan blinked and nodded, realizing he was a bit spaced out.

“I was asking you what you’re doing on Sunday. Everyone’s going to the game, you in?” Gabe’s eyes seemed to be afire with expectation.

Ryan took a sip of his beer. He wasn’t sure what to say back. He knew his time probably should’ve been more like apartment shopping since he had to move out in three weeks.

The thought made his beer not taste so good anymore.

“No pressure.” Dan added to ease Ryan’s mind. “Regardless, you’re invited.”

“No, Dan. Yes! Yes pressure! Are you coming?”

Gabe was always pushy like that, but Ryan knew it was his humor, although it was sometimes more stressful than funny.

“I appreciate the invitation, but I’m afraid I can’t go.” Ryan declined, knowing it was the better choice. “I’m going to... I’ll be moving soon. I need to save up for a new place.” He murmured with a sad countenance.

“Moving? When?” Gabe’s eyes went wide. “You and Shane have lived together since forever.”

Ryan felt a lot of undue pressure on him. He clutched his alcohol like a lifeline, eyes downcast.

“Change of plans. I’ve gotta be out in twenty days.”

“Tough luck.” Dan frowned.

More people were starting to come to the bar for happy hour, so Ryan eventually had tuned everything out, feeling like he didn’t have the social energy to be engaging.

His mind wandered with the ambiance and a jukebox in the corner of the room playing classic pop songs.

Ryan finished his beer and only caught fragments of the conversation Dan and Gabe were on about.

Something about custom guitars and a little bit of bickering about what the best brand was.

Ryan eyed a wooden clock on the wall. It would tick and tick, his eyes following the hands, thinking about when he should leave.

He felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned, expecting it to have been Gabe, but Gabe was facing the other way as he talked to Dan.

Ryan made a face and looked the other way.

The confusion on his face melted away when he saw Brendon standing there.

His expression turned to surprise.

“Hey baby.” Brendon purred softly, touching Ryan’s shoulder and smiling with sparkly eyes.

Ryan was quiet and a little shocked as the boy sat on the barstool beside him, facing him and grinning.

“Hi Bren.” Ryan abandoned his drink. “What are you doing here?”

Brendon giggled a little and shrugged. “We were gonna meet on the corner, but... I was bored and I saw you here. Win?” His face screwed up a little in amusement.

Ryan chuckled a bit, noticing that the boy seemed a bit off.

“Uh, ‘scuse me, who’s this?”

Ryan felt an elbow against his ribs. He turned and sat up a little, noticing his friends were looking his way.

“Oh.” Ryan murmured sheepishly. “Uh... Guys, this is, uh, Brendon.”

Brendon waved in response.

Ryan immediately noticed Dan look on with intrigue. He instantly knew Dan had recognized Brendon.

Thankfully Gabe was completely oblivious, but Ryan still felt caught.

“I’m gay- I mean Gabe- what’s up?” Gabe introduced with a dopey smile and reached around Ryan’s back to enthusiastically shake hands with Brendon.

Making things uncomfortable as he often did.

When he was done messing around, Dan also waved and introduced himself.

“I was going to leave to meet up with him in a half hour, but he’s here now so I guess I won’t have to.” Ryan tried to say with a fond smile.

He looked back at Brendon, and he was given a loving look in return.

“How are you?” Ryan leaned over and whispered softly.

He could smell a new cologne on Brendon. He kind of liked it.

“Mm. Good.” The boy sighed happily and pressed his face against Ryan’s shoulder, grinning.

Ryan didn’t mind so much, even though his friends were right there and watching them both.

He gently brushed Brendon’s hair out of his face and looked back at the other two males.

“I think there’s a cue I’ve missed here.” Gabe looked at Brendon and Ryan with playful suspicion. “Is there some _romantic_ things going on I’ve yet to hear of?”

Ryan laughed a little and shook his head at his dumbass comrade.

“It’s his business, Gabe. Leave it be.” Dan kicked Gabe under the seat, making Gabe scrunch up his face like the light tap had actually hurt.

Ryan could feel warm breaths wash over the sleeve of his shirt. He smiled all big and leaned back into Brendon, feeling like that was all the coming out they had to do.

“Don’t tell though, alright? This is a new thing and some people don’t need to know yet.”

Gabe looked absolutely amazed by this. “Amigo, you’re _gay_?”

Ryan nodded once.

Gabe was bursting with excitement. “You crazy fucker! Ha! I _knew_ there was something special about you! See, Dan? I’m not the only queer in the group anymore!”

They all laughed together because Gabe was so innocently absurd.

“Ready to go out yet?” Ryan whispered over to Brendon, who was still buried in his shoulder.

Brendon nodded once, and lifted his head, putting his hand on Ryan’s thigh.

“Alright, guys. I’m gonna get going. I’ll see you later though?” Ryan explained, feeling bad that they had to part ways, but he had been looking forward to this time to be with Brendon.

“Yes, man. Go. Have a nice time. Use condoms!” Gabe enthused.

Ryan made a face. “I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear that.” He stood and reached over to shake hands with Dan. “Have a good night, man.”

“You, too.” Dan said with a friendly smile. “It’s nice to meet you as well.” He looked over to Brendon.

“Ditto.” Brendon slid off the barstool and smiled at Dan.

The group broke off and Ryan walked out with Brendon.

The air was a tiny bit chilly. Ryan wrapped his scarf a little more snugly around his neck and Brendon seemed cozy in his lavender hoodie.

“How’d you find me?” Ryan asked softly.

Brendon grinned, grabbing his hand. “I was walking by and I saw you sitting there. It’s not far from the door, you know. I was looking for somewhere warm anyways.”

He stumbled a little on his feet and then laughed at his own clumsiness.

“You alright there?” The corners of Ryan’s mouth lifted as he curiously stared at the boy, who seemed rather uneasy on his feet.

“I’m fuckin’ great.” Brendon clicked his tongue. “I might have had a joint before I came.” His cheeks flushed a soft pink.

Ryan realized that had been why the boy was acting a little off. It took away his worries, knowing Brendon was at least alright.

“Okay, okay. Maybe two joints. Only two though. Fuck, I can’t ever work in the club if I don’t. I get so anxious and scared. I’m nervous so much.” Brendon seemed to be chatty in his leftover high, to which Ryan didn’t mind at all.

“I’d see why it would be so overwhelming.” Ryan sympathized.

Brendon squeezes his hand as they strolled down the sidewalk.

Ryan thought of how much Brendon had come out of his shell since that night they met in the club.

He was probably a little doped up, just like he was now, and that was why he had been so different on their previous date when he was sober.

“Are we going somewhere?” Ryan asked softly once he realized they seemed to be walking off into nowhere in particular.

They had come to a corner and Brendon looked up, still a little distracted.

“We can walk to my place. It’s only a couple blocks away.” Brendon offered, stopping to turn and smile at Ryan. “It’s warm there. I want you to come over.”

How could Ryan say no when Brendon was making those eyes at him?

He looked so soft with his dark strands of hair in his face. They were black, Ryan had noticed. He thought he had last remembered Brendon with dark brown hair.

It looked a bit shorter than last time as well, but the bangs were still in the boy’s face a little.

He seemed so charming like that.

“Sure.” Ryan grinned back at Brendon.

The boy seemed content. He was glued to Ryan’s side as they crossed the street and headed to his home.

“Do you live far from here?” Brendon asked with curiosity.

He would step around in funny ways, avoiding the cracks in the pavement like a child would as he held Ryan’s hand.

“It’s a ten minute drive without traffic.” Ryan shrugged.

Brendon hummed softly, rubbing circles in Ryan’s hand with his thumb.

Ryan found the motions to be soothing. The boy’s hand was so soft and warm.

“Do you always smoke weed on Fridays?” Ryan teased a little.

Brendon giggled. “Most Fridays, yeah.”

He looked at Ryan and narrowed his eyes in faux offense, breaking into a cheesy smile after.

“It helps my anxiety so much. I’ve been smoking it since I was thirteen and it always has worked for me.”

Ryan quietly listened. He had never been a weed smoker himself, although he’d smoke cigarettes from time to time just to be cool with his friends.

He tried not to rely too heavily on substances. They were what killed his father when he was only nineteen years old.

All the smoking and drinking George Ryan Ross Jr. had done caused irreversible damage to his lungs and liver.

Ryan didn’t want to end up like his father.

“I saw your text from last night.” Brendon rubbed his nose with his other hand and sniffled. “I couldn’t get back to you though because my phone broke.”

“That’s a shame.” Ryan frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I ordered another one. I just won’t have a phone for a couple of days.” Brendon sighed. “I hope it won’t get me into trouble.”

“You’ll be okay.” Ryan said reassuringly. “I’ll spend the next couple days with you if you want.” He offered with a smile.

Brendon giggled and blushed some more. “I wouldn’t mind that.”

Ryan chuckled as well and stared down at the sidewalk, noticing their steps were in sync.

“Were you okay last night?” Brendon asked and looked over at Ryan.

“Huh? Last night, oh. I was just tired.” Ryan said dismissively. “Were you able to get away from the creepy guy?”

“Yea. Not after we shared the same bus for a few stops though. I was shaky as fuck.”

“Fuck. I’m sorry.” Ryan mumbled, pitying Brendon.

“It’s fine. I’m used to it.” Brendon shrugged.

Ryan knew what it was like to walk around in unsafe streets. He had used to live across from a heroin house before his parents divorced when he was four.

People would come out black and blue, looking like shit.

It made Ryan cringe to see their dead and wasted faces as they’d all pile out by five in the morning.

Sometimes the visions of them still gave him nightmares.

“We’re here.” Brendon chirped after they’d been walking for a few more minutes.

Ryan looked up from the sidewalk his eyes had been glued to. It was an apartment complex that was small but still clean and decent.

Brendon entered a code to open a side gate, then he let Ryan in. “Mine is upstairs to the left.” He beckoned.

Ryan nodded and went along with Brendon to the apartment.

He stopped at the door to let Brendon unlock it.

It was a decent place, it was small but it felt homey. There was a small fountain in the middle of all the apartments, and he could hear crickets sing.

Their hands broke apart as the boy pushed the door open, and Ryan stepped into his world.


	8. Closer

Everything felt cozy the instant Ryan walked in.

Even though the place was small, it was kept tidy. It smelled nice, and everything about it felt like it was a safe living space.

Brendon had showed him the living room and small kitchen. 

Ryan would smile and nod. He was enamored with the charm of the place.

The walls were dark blue, maple leaf fairy lights were strung across them. There was a light blue couch and the room carried the scent of cinnamon and clove.

Brendon has decorated nicely for autumn.

There was a console table in the hallway that was covered in picture frames, candles, and cinnamon sticks in a vase.

“Your living room is so pretty.” Ryan murmured softly.

He turned around and smiled at Brendon.

The boy came up to Ryan, looking all happy and soft as he wrapped his arms around Ryan’s middle.

“Thanks. My best friend helped me decorate.” Brendon squeezed Ryan affectionately.

Ryan put his arms around the boy as well, petting his hair and enjoying the closeness.

“I’d like to show you the best room in the house.” Brendon’s voice dropped to a whisper.

He pulled back from the hug and took Ryan’s hand in his.

“Come on.” The boy beckoned.

Ryan grinned and followed Brendon to the bedroom. 

He opened the door and turned on the lights, leading Ryan inside.

The walls were the same color as the living room. There was a bed with grey bedsheets up against a wall and a night stand beside it.

Behind Ryan was a closet, and there were white curtains.

“It _is_ the best room in the house.” Ryan agreed.

Brendon kicked off his shoes, letting go of Ryan’s hand in favor of sitting on the bed, looking up with sparkly eyes.

“Come sit next to me.” Brendon chuckled, playing coy.

Ryan sat next to Brendon and was surprised to find no real bounce in the mattress. It was completely soft. It felt like a cloud.

He looked over at Brendon, who was making eyes at him.

They knew what they wanted.

They both leaned in at the same time, closing their eyes and capturing each other’s mouths in a soft kiss.

Ryan had missed the first time they had sex together.

Brendon’s blissful lips were warm and inviting as they both melted into the contact. He smelled of weed, and Ryan wondered if he could get high just from kissing.

Ryan lifted a hand to the nape of the boy’s neck, holding him closer, deepening the kiss by flicking his tongue over Brendon’s bottom lip to request entrance.

The boy was pliant and willing, opening up so their tongues could slide together in a passionate kiss.

Brendon wrapped his arms around Ryan, pressing against him more, wanting.

Ryan grabbed a fistful of Brendon’s shirt and nibbled on his bottom lip, eliciting a soft groan from the other male.

They turned over on the bed, the boy’s back against the sheets as Ryan moved on top of him, and they fell into each other as they were making out.

Brendon pulled off Ryan’s scarf, and Ryan pulled the other male closer by his belt loops.

The boy made another soft noise and Ryan started to get stirred up.

He kissed down Brendon’s cheek, to his neck, then tugging the collar of his shirt down to nuzzle at the soft and warm skin.

Ryan’s breath picked up in excitement. He could tell the boy was also into it, pressing up against him.

“Ry...” Brendon sighed helplessly, hands moving to Ryan’s hair.

He shivered a little from the warmth of Ryan’s mouth on his collarbones, gently nibbling and kissing.

“Ryan.” Brendon breathed out with a little more urgency. “Lay down?”

Ryan obliged. He pulled off of Brendon, turning over on his side, facing the boy.

Brendon turned as well. He stared into Ryan’s eyes and traced his lips with his fingers. 

He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, staring back with big, innocent eyes.

Ryan cupped Brendon’s cheek and went in for a kiss, but it was brief, because as soon as the boy’s warmth was there, it was gone.

Brendon stood up at the foot of the bed, looking down at Ryan with lust-stricken eyes.

Ryan sat up and wondered why Brendon had pulled away.

“B-“

“Shhh.” Brendon pressed a finger to the other male’s lips, effectively silencing him.

Brendon broke into a soft grin. He had a playful twinkle about him that kept Ryan intrigued.

His dark hair was all messed up and his mouth was bright pink, making Ryan want him even more.

The boy took a step back. He kept the eye contact as he held his bottom lip between his teeth, grabbing onto the zipper of his hoodie and slowly edging it downward.

Ryan watched, feeling a little impatient because he missed Brendon’s warmth.

He watched as the boy unzipped it all the way, then gradually let it slip off his shoulders.

A smirk played on Brendon’s lips as he felt his stomach over the soft material of the red t-shirt that hugged him in all the right places.

He slipped a hand underneath it, cocking his hips, lifting it up, and-

_Oh._ Okay. So all this was part of the show.

Once Ryan got a peek of Brendon’s skin, revealing his hips, he got excited.

The boy’s shirt gently went up, up, and over his stomach, revealing more of his form.

Brendon’s hands wandered all over under the shirt, the whole time staring back at Ryan with big eyes and parted lips.

Sinful. Sexy.

The boy slowly lifted his shirt up and over his head. He bared the skin of his torso with pride.

He looked smug, rubbing his hands from his chest and down to his hips where they met the buckle of his belt.

Ryan was squirming as he watched Brendon’s little show.

The bulge in his slacks was definitely more prominent. His eyes were half lidded as he propped himself up on his elbows, wanting to see more.

“You like it, darlin?” Brendon purred in a sultry tone.

Ryan nodded. As if the strain in his pants and his heavy breathing wasn’t answer enough.

Brendon ran his tongue over his bottom lip.

Ryan breathed out hard. He looked so soft and yet so sexy at the same time.

He stared at the deep V of Brendon’s hips. He wanted to lick there. He wanted to kiss it. He wanted to sink further and further down until-

Brendon popped open the buckle of his belt, pulling it out of the loops and dropping it on the floor.

Ryan got tingles in his spine as the boy undid the button of his jeans. 

He started guiding the zipper down. It was painfully slow, Ryan sat up a little more, squirming impatiently because he wanted to see more.

Brendon undid his sinfully tight jeans. He pushed them down to mid-thigh, only in tight black and white striped briefs.

Ryan opened his mouth, but Brendon hushed him with a smile.

“Let me do this.” Brendon hummed softly.

It felt agonizingly slow, just like the simple beginnings of their relationship.

It made Ryan think of how things were at the start. This humbled him, and he learned to appreciate the moment.

Brendon took off his jeans the rest of the way. 

Then his hand went to the front of his boxers. He rubbed himself over the fabric. 

He made a face like he was a little surprised at this, his brows drawn together and his jaw slightly dropped as he stared down at Ryan on the bed.

Ryan gulped, eyes a little wide as the boy groped his bulge and closed his eyes, tilting his head back.

He could hear Brendon’s heavy breaths, seeing him get hard.

Ryan wanted to touch. He wanted to strip Brendon and himself until they were both a mess of skin and sweat and tongues and cum.

The boy looked back at Ryan, biting his bottom lip again and turning around. 

He propped himself up against the wall with his hand, pushing his ass out, turning and looking back as he inched the waistband of his briefs down his ass.

Ryan bit his own lip and unknowingly started stroking himself through his slacks.

His erection was painful and begging for his attention.

He ran his fingertips along it, admiring the curve of Brendon’s back and his sturdy shoulders.

His ass was soft and full as it spilled out from above the waistband.

Brendon turned again, facing Ryan, his briefs halfway down his shaft.

“Please.” Ryan breathed helplessly. 

He pressed his hand down as his slacks only got tighter. He was staring at where Brendon’s shaft was almost in full view.

Ryan wanted the rest. He was sick of waiting.

The boy pulled down his briefs, freeing his half-hard dick.

He let the final garment drop to the floor. Then he crawled up onto the bed to exchange saliva with Ryan again.

Ryan pulled Brendon’s naked body to him. He grabbed a fistful of his hair and they kissed like it was their last time.

Brendon pulled back and straddled Ryan’s hips.

His cheeks were flushed and he was already worked up, but they were getting there.

The boy let out a soft whimper and started grinding in Ryan’s lap.

Ryan cursed under his breath, shedding his jacket.

Brendon paused to help Ryan shimmy out of his shirt as well. Then they wrapped their arms around each other, making out and grinding.

“Want you.” Ryan whined against Brendon’s mouth, his fingertips pressing into the boy’s bare hips.

Brendon hummed and pulled away, leaving Ryan breathless and wanting.

He went over and grabbed his jeans. He pulled a condom and a pack of lube out of his back pocket.

Ryan watched as the boy pulled out the two items. He admired his pale skin and the deep lines around his hips that were so fucking sexy.

He undid his fly, kicking off his pants, biting his lip when Brendon then discarded his own jeans and climbed onto the bed.

They both leaned back in for an intense, passionate kiss.

Ryan’s erection was in plain view and aching for touch.

He palmed himself, tongue-fucking Brendon, gasping against his lips.

The boy sucked in a sharp breath and straddled Ryan once again. He pulled out the condom, rolling it onto the other male’s erection.

Ryan bit his lip, Brendon’s fingers brushing down, down, down until they reached the base.

They locked eyes. Ryan was breathless and sweaty.

Brendon slicked up his hand and started rubbing the lube down Ryan’s shaft, making him groan.

“Nngh, fuck, Bren-“ Ryan choked out and sighed heavily.

“Yeah, baby. Come on, like that.” Brendon purred encouragingly, and Ryan’s heart skipped a beat.

Ryan let himself lay on his back. The boy touched around and spread lube all over until he was happy with it.

“Ry,” He panted, cheeks flushed and clammy. “Finger me.”

Ryan shivers at that and nods, releasing his death grip on Brendon’s hips to slick up his fingers, pressing them to the boy’s entrance.

A single nod, and he shoves his fingers in.

Brendon sinks down. He throws his head back and breathes out like he’s never felt anything better.

Ryan can see a drop of sweat trail cross the other male’s flushed chest. He’s so into it. His body is turned on and sex within itself.

Brendon slowly rocks his hips as Ryan pushes his fingers in and out. His brows are knit together, his face is scrunched up in concentration.

His tongue pokes out to wet his bottom lip, and Ryan helplessly bucks up his hips because _fuck_, that’s so hot.

“B-“ Ryan swallows his words as Brendon engulfs his mouth with his own, their tongues and spit mixing.

They groan against each other’s mouths. Ryan pulls out his fingers, and they’re ready.

Brendon is panting a little bit, flustered as he positions himself over Ryan. He lines up and Ryan holds his breath.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The boy sinks down. There’s pounding in Ryan’s ears, and he finds a new world of bliss.

“Ah- ah- _oh_...” Brendon hisses as he sinks down.

Ryan’s eyes slip shut and his hands dig into Brendon’s thighs as the tip sinks in, followed by the rest until the boy is halfway down.

Neither of them can breath or think. Their only instinct is more, more, more.

Brendon grunts and takes Ryan down the rest of the day.

“Fuck.” They both breathe out at the same time.

Ryan looks up, meeting the boy’s glassy eyes and dropped jaw.

“Shit, just-“

“Yeah.” Brendon nods vigorously and starts gently rolling his hips.

Ryan bites his tongue and bucks up into the boy’s tightwetwarmperfect ass.

It’s all pure ecstasy as Brendon lifts off and sinks down.

Ryan, for a moment, thinks he’s going to die.

They start getting breather and rougher. Brendon warms up to it and starts fucking down on Ryan like he hasn’t been laid in years.

Ryan moans appreciatively. He holds his breath, then lets out a low groan because how can this even be fucking real?

Everything is tight in his pelvis, in his spine, and his toes curl in blinding bliss.

“Uhh, baby, you feel so good.” Brendon slurs out like he’s drunk.

He starts stroking himself, his face screwed up in pleasure.

Ryan drags his nails up Brendon’s thighs and believes it.

The boy’s knees dig deep into the sheets as he rocks his body so hard he nearly knocks the air out of Ryan every time he sinks back down.

Ryan lets out this loud, helpless cry. 

He hits a soft spot in Brendon, making the male gasp loudly, rocking back for more.

“How do you get so good at this?” Ryan fucking whines, chewing on his bottom lip and trying to keep his head.

Brendon runs his tongue over his bottom lip. He does a circular motion with his hips, making Ryan jerk and yelp.

“Practice,” He pants.

Ryan moans softly and starts lifting his hips to meet the boy’s thrusts as he rides him into oblivion.

Brendon drives Ryan crazy with his motions, pushing him closer and closer.

The older male’s eyes roll in his head as he arches his back and mewls in pleasure.

“Ryan...” The boy pleads, putting his hands on Ryan’s stomach. “Touch me.”

Ryan shudders and opens his eyes.

Brendon is so fucking hard and leaking. Ryan grabs it and earns a growl from the other male as he presses his thumb to the slit.

The boy hisses and is torn between fucking into his prostate or Ryan’s fist.

He takes both.

Ryan keeps hitting the bliss spot in Brendon, making the younger male see stars.

“Ah- ah- gonna cum.” Brendon chokes out. 

He sinks down, Ryan twists his fist at the base, and the boy doubles over.

He cries out loudly as he cums, exploding all over Ryan’s hand and chest.

Ryan keeps thrusting up as Brendon rides it out. The other male’s insides clench and unclench in a perfect blissful pressure, driving Ryan insane.

Brendon slows and finishes, starting to tremble.

His eyes are wide and his pupils are blown. His hair is a mess, his chest is flushed, and they’re both sticky with cum.

Ryan lets go of the other male’s shaft and fucks up in a frenzy.

He’s desperate to get off. His balls are tight. Ryan feels the warmth spread in him and up his spine until-

His hips jerk, he gasps, and spills into Brendon.

Ryan curses and breathes heavily through his orgasm.

Brendon rides slow and easy as Ryan pumps him until he’s completely drained out.

Then they both stop, consumed by the trembling of their bodies and aftershocks of orgasm.

Brendon slides off and Ryan looks up with half lidded eyes.

He releases his death grip on the boy’s hips and sees red marks all over them both.

They’ll be sore in the morning.

Ryan hisses as Brendon pulls off with a wet pop and rolls the condom off his half-hard cock.

Brendon throws it in his bedside trash bin and flops over onto his back next to Ryan, breathless and sweaty and sticky.

Ryan stares up at the ceiling. All he sees is stars and black holes. It felt like his bones had melted and his insides turned to jelly.

The boy looked over at the other male, touching his face, waiting for him to come down.

Ryan leans into Brendon’s touch. Breathing. Feeling.

“You okay?” Brendon turns to face Ryan. He looks to his eyes with a blank stare.

They’re silent until Ryan looks over to Brendon. They lock eyes, and the boy smiles as he touches the other male’s face.

“That was amazing.” Ryan’s gentle, husky voice cuts through the silence.

Brendon nods and kisses Ryan’s cheek, the afterglow still thick in their systems.

“Brendon?”

“Hm?”

Ryan breathes out shakily.

“Can... Can we...” He eyes Brendon’s lips, licking his own, eyes pooling with lust.

“Again?” The boy’s lips curl into a seductive smile.

Ryan buys into it.

Their lips meet again. Hands touching, feeling, pulling them back together until they’re intertwined again.

Ryan wakes up at two in the morning. He’s in a cold sweat as he becomes moderately familiar with the warmth of another body in his arms.

He shivers and opens his eyes.

A bright red digital clock stares him in the face, making it hard to close his eyes without being conscious of it.

He hears a soft snoring and feels warm breath against his collarbone.

Ryan hugs Brendon a little bit tighter, because he won this time.

He woke up and the boy was still here with him. He hadn’t gone. He hadn’t left him behind.

Here they were, at two in the morning, their bodies pressed together and clammy.

Before they had fallen asleep, Ryan had put his pants back on. But now they were proving to be a little too hot for comfort.

He slowly tried to pry himself off Brendon just enough to shed the unwanted clothing.

The boy stirred and whined a little, but Ryan soothed him by petting his hair and kissing him.

Brendon instantly relaxed, and Ryan undressed the rest of the way.

He cuddled right back into the boy and felt much better.

Ryan thought of how perfect this was. It had been the life he thought he could only dream of. To fall asleep with someone he loved and still have them there when he woke up.

He loved Brendon, of course he did.

Ryan felt so lucky, yet, he was sad.

He never thought he would’ve made it this far with that sexy boy, suavely sauntering around a club looking for someone who’d be willing to pay a price for a moment like this.

Ryan knew it was a cheat to Brendon no matter how much the pay was.

Love is priceless.

Ryan looked down at the boy’s face, taking in how peaceful Brendon slept. He was softened and his guard was down.

He looked so innocent and vulnerable.

The clock turned to three a.m. and Ryan closed his eyes.

His mind drifted as he thought of the night they’d had and what he dreamed of for them.

Ryan felt like they were close, but they could be so, so much more.

He wanted to propose to Brendon and ask him to be his boyfriend.

Ryan knew no matter how close they were, there was still a chance the boy couldn’t settle down and give up what he did for a living.

Ryan could support him. Ryan could understand.

Brendon was something of another world to Ryan. He was something far more precious than what the rest of the world could offer.

He was the only boy Ryan could ever love like this. Something inside told him they both knew it was the truth, even as the boy peacefully slept.

Ryan slowly drifted out of consciousness with his boy, tangled up in sheets.


	9. Call Me When

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a heavy chapter
> 
> Trigger warnings: Implied suicide, underage drinking/smoking/drug consumption, mentions of vomiting

Ryan gets the call just as he’s about to leave for work.

His phone had been singing all morning with text messages, but Ryan had neglected it because he was in a rush.

He recognizes the phone call ringtone, so he grabs it, seeing the call is from Brendon.

Ryan quickly buttons the top of his shirt and picks up.

“Hey, B. Good morning.” He greets, trying not to sound out of breath as he grabs his wallet and nearly runs out the door.

“Good mornin’.” He hears in a weak, gravelly voice.

Ryan frowns at this. “Are you okay? You don’t sound so good.” He murmurs, slightly concerned.

“Did you get my texts?” Brendon chokes out, and Ryan hears a cough.

He stops at his car and frowns.

“Sorry, I haven’t looked at them. I’m supposed to be on my way to work actually.”

“Oh.” Brendon sniffles and muffles a cough again. “Ry, I- I’m really... I have some bad news.”

He sounds strained. Ryan starts to worry as he gets in his car.

“What’s wrong, Bren?” His heart rate picks up.

Something feels very, very wrong.

“I’m sick.” Brendon rasps out. “I probably will be for- for a while...”

Ryan blinks. For a while?

“What does that mean?” His heart drops a little in his chest.

What is Brendon sick with? What’s so bad that he’d need to say it’s going to last a while?

“I’m not gonna be able to do our date.” Brendon sounds pitiful and sad.

Ryan almost swears he hears a soft sob, but it could also be a muffled cough, and he hopes that’s what it is instead.

He gets in his car, his chest feeling heavy.

“Shit. I’m sorry. What can I do? You need some medicine? Have you seen a doctor yet?” Ryan goes off in hopes there’s at least some way he can help.

“My doctor can’t see me until tomorrow.” Brendon sounds like shit. “I can’t leave the house. I can’t even- even leave my bed.”

Ryan hears Brendon hacking his lungs up on the other end, and he decides, _fuck work_. He was going to go help.

“What are the symptoms?” He turned the key in the ignition and decided to drive to the nearest CVS for cough syrup and whatever else Brendon needed.

Ryan turned off his car radio and put his phone on speaker, letting it sit in his lap so he could stay focused on driving safely.

“I’ve been throwing up since yesterday at five in the morning.” Brendon clears his throat a few times. “I feel like there’s sand and rocks in my gut.”

Ryan flinched a little, starting to feel a bit nauseous himself because he knew what that felt like.

“I’ll make you an appointment with my doctor for today, alright? He’s good but almost never busy because the office is kind of in the middle of nowhere. I’ll drive you there, alright?” Ryan rattled off, not wanting to leave Brendon with any option to say no.

“Ry, I-“ Brendon’s voice cut off, and Ryan was worried he’d lost connection until the boy’s voice came back. “I’ll call you back in a minute.”

Then Brendon hung up.

Ryan glanced down at his phone, making a sad face when he hit a stoplight.

He checked his texts and saw that Brendon sent him a few earlier that morning.

_I think I have the flu, I’m sorry I can’t see you tomorrow_

Ryan’s heart sank with pity for the boy. He was too pretty to suffer like this. Too sweet. Too precious.

He was only human.

Ryan drove himself to the pharmacy, going straight for the medicine aisle.

He didn’t even really give a shit what he was grabbing. He got a few different medicines for nausea, headaches, colds, as well as some vitamins that he knew would come handy for soothing stomach pain, and cough drops.

Ryan also grabbed a few soup cans on his way out. He was going to go all out for Brendon. He didn’t even care if he got anything in return, he wanted the boy to heal.

While he waited in line, he called in sick to work, needing to take the day off with Brendon.

He checked out his items and picked up the phone when Brendon called back.

“Hey.” Ryan breathed out softly, relieved that Brendon was still alive.

“Hi.” Brendon’s voice sounded wrecked and even more scratchy than before.

“I’m gonna come see you, okay? I’ve got medicine and soup.” Ryan smiled and started driving to Brendon’s apartment.

“You don’t have to...” Brendon sniffled, silent before adding. “What kind of soup?”

Ryan stupidly grinned, knowing the boy needed him. “You’ll see. I’ll be there in a few. Don’t thank me, don’t tell me I don’t have to. I’m coming over and I’m taking care of you.”

Brendon sighed softly at the other end.

“Door’s unlocked.” The boy murmured before breaking into another coughing fit.

He sounded like his lungs were heavy with phlegm. Ryan realized he should’ve probably bought some tea too.

They could make do.

“I’ll be right there.” Ryan turned a few streets down from Brendon’s.

They both murmured their brief goodbyes and hung up.

Ryan parked his car in a guest parking spot in the apartment complex. He made a quick call to schedule an appointment with his doctor for Brendon to go in that afternoon.

Insurance wouldn’t cover it, but it was worth the trouble. He wanted Brendon to feel better and the price that came at didn’t matter.

He pulled his grocery bag along with him as he went through the gate and up the stairs to the boy’s apartment.

Ryan knocked a few times before opening the door a little. “Bren, it’s me.” He called out softly.

He was a bit sheepish as he went in. Ryan looked around and the place was messier than before.

Clothes were thrown about on the floor, and there were a couple boxes on the couch too. One was closed and the other had all sorts of harnesses and bondage straps spilling out of the sides.

Ryan toed off his shoes.

“Brendon. It’s me, Ryan. I’m here.”

He looked over as the bathroom door opened, and Brendon came out. 

Ryan smiled, and Brendon waved back.

In simple terms, he looked awful.

In more complex terms, even from a distance Ryan could tell he was sick. His face was flushed and his upper half looked sweaty. 

He had deep, reddish lines under his eyes. Brendon was only clad in blue underpants and his ribs seemed to protrude more than usual.

Ryan swallowed as he observed the boy weakly stumble over to the doorway of his room, looking back at Ryan.

“I brought you some things.” Ryan said softly as he stepped over, only seeing more and more how ill Brendon looked.

The boy was leaning to the side with one hand on the wall. To keep himself upright, supposedly.

“Damn, baby. You look like shit.” Ryan frowned and pushed Brendon’s sweaty hair aside that had been plastered to his forehead.

“I _feel_ like shit.” Brendon replied, swallowing because his voice broke as he cursed. 

His eyes were downcast.

“I gotta lay down.”

Ryan stares off into space as Brendon turned and went into his room.

He nodded, realizing the severity of the boy’s sickness.

It looked like it had drained the life out of him.

Ryan went into the room, watching as Brendon pulled back the covers, gently laying himself down.

He made a pained little noise, and Ryan went over to him, sitting in the edge of the bed and helping pull the covers up over Brendon.

“Fuck. You poor thing.” Ryan frowned, pitying the boy and stroking his hair.

Brendon blew out a soft breath and closed his eyes, visibly melting to the touch as he pulled the covers halfway over his head.

Ryan paused his movements to set the grocery bag on the night stand.

He pulled out a few of the medicines as an offering to Brendon. “I brought you these.” He said softly, showing what they were.

Brendon looked up, reaching out and squinting as he examined one of the vitamin bottles.

“It’ll help with the pain and at least hold you over until you can get to the doctor this afternoon. Okay?” Ryan rubbed Brendon’s shoulder and set the other things back in the bag.

The boy looked thoughtful. Ryan observed as the boy blinked a few times and coughed. Brendon had opened the bottle and took one of the pills into his mouth, chewing the berry flavored tablet.

He made a face like it was sour as he handed it the bottle over to Ryan.

Ryan took the vitamins back from Brendon when he was done, setting it with the other things.

He stood and pulled out the few soup cans. “I got you different kinds. I got tomato soup, beef stew, and chicken noodle. You want some?” He offered, holding up the cans.

Brendon’s eyes looked dulled as he quietly looked back and forth between the cans.

He breathed deeply and burrowed more into the covers. Ryan looked down as he extended his arm to point to the chicken noodle soup.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” Ryan smiled warmly, felling happy to take care of Brendon.

For once, he was doing something for someone else. It made him feel good.

“Ry-“ The boy’s broken voice made Ryan pause on his way out, looking back.

Brendon pushed his greasy hair aside, clearing his throat again and looking up.

“Why are you doing this?” He choked out softly.

His eyes were searching, questioning.

“Because,” Ryan faced the boy. “I want you to feel better.”

“You don’t have to, though.” Brendon grabs a tissue from the box next to his bed and blows his nose before continuing. “I have my own doctor. I... I can manage on my own.” He says as he wiped his nose.

He sounds weak. Ryan knows Brendon couldn’t in a million years leave the apartment and function like this.

It sinks in a little, and Ryan knows Brendon isn’t a fortunate boy. Every night he surrounds himself with people who will love him for a few minutes and forget who he even is come morning.

He isn’t used to people caring.

“I believe you could, but you don’t have to. I can be here with you, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be, you’re worth my time.” Ryan says, and Brendon’s flushed pink cheeks turn red. “Now. I’m going to make you some soup. I’ll also get you some water, and I made a doctor’s appointment for you this afternoon. You don’t have to worry for anything, because I’ve got it covered.”

The boy smiles. It’s weak, but it’s there.

He mouths a soft “thank you” and Ryan walks back over to his bedside to lovingly touch his arm.

Then Ryan goes out to the kitchen, finds a decent pot under the sink, and pours soup into it to allow it to heat up.

He also looks through Brendon’s cabinets. He finds a small box with a few tea bags in it.

Ryan spots a bag of chamomile tea, and he selects that to give to Brendon.

He heats up some water on the stove and puts the tea bag in to let the flavor spread.

Ryan lets himself as he turns his back on the stove, knowing it would feel like a longer time for the things to heat up if he was watching them.

He thought about all the apartment shopping he had to do between now and the end of the month.

Ryan has his eye on a few places, but overall he really had no idea where he was going to go.

There was no other choice. He had to be out. He thought of asking to stay with one of his friends for a couple weeks so he could secure a lease somewhere fit enough for him to live for the next six months or so.

Ryan scrubbed his face with his hands, worried and stressed, because what would he even do? He only barely made enough to sustain just himself.

He needed Shane’s help, but now without it, he was lost.

Behind him, he heard the water bubbling behind him. The kitchen smelled of warm tea, so he poured some into a mug he found in the upper cabinets.

Ryan came back to Brendon’s room, hearing raspy coughs.

He frowned a little and pulled himself away from his own problems. He had someone else to think of now.

Ryan leaned over and offered the tea. “Here, B.” He murmured softly.

Brendon pulled the covers off his head and took a deep breath as he looked up. He slowly moved to sit upright. He winced a little, one arm holding his stomach as he propped himself up against the headboard with a pillow.

Ryan was pretty sure he heard the boy swear under his breath in pain.

“Here.” He passed the tea to Brendon’s hands. “Careful, it’s hot.”

“Thank you.” The boy murmured softly, smelling the tea and then pulling it to his chest, looking pleased with it.

Ryan pet Brendon’s hair and noticed that the other male was mostly breathing from his mouth. He pulled out a cough drop, offering it with a couple other pills.

“Take these. It’ll help.” Ryan put the items in the boy’s other hand.

Brendon nodded and closed his eyes, leaning his hand back and letting his face screw up miserably as he clutched the pills.

Ryan’s heart was sinking as the boy tried not to show his pain. “Hold on, Bren. It’ll be over soon.” He promised.

The boy nodded again and looked back down into his cup, staring at the cinnamon brown liquid.

“I know. It just hurts so much.” He sniffled and set the cup on his bedside table, grabbing more tissues.

“I’ll get you the soup.” Ryan dismissed himself, not wanting to intrude while Brendon showed his weakness.

He sulked to the kitchen and looked around for the bowls.

“Bowls, bowls, bowls...” Ryan murmurs to himself as he checks all the cabinets, shuffling around to find a bowl.

He can’t find one, so he searches for the next best thing. A big mug from the cabinet.

Ryan spots a good looking one in the far back, so he clears out a couple cups and reaches for it.

He grabs onto the round yellow mug decorated with daisies painted over the sides. He looks at the bottom and it has _B.B.U._ etched into the pottery in awful penmanship.

Ryan smiles, thinking it’s probably a very special, sentimental cup.

He’s afraid to ruin it, so he goes to put it back to grab the one next to it.

Except for-

Ryan sees a plastic bag behind the second mug.

It’s crammed way behind where supposedly it’s not meant to be seen. It looks like it’s filled to the brim with something white.

Ryan makes a face and reaches for it. He pulls back his hand and looks at the white stuff in it.

An inexperienced person would look at the white powder in the snack sized plastic bag and think it was sugar or salt.

Ryan, however, had a trained eye for it and the context of how he found it. He saw the clumps of the substance and knew.

Sometimes in college he’d see his friends bent over tables, inhaling the stuff with rolled up dollar bills. They would itch and stumble and stare up at the ceiling like they were seeing heaven after breathing it in.

It would go deep deep into their system and leave as soon as it came, making them die for more. So much so that on one occasion, it had killed off one of them.

It had been a dark summer the year Spencer Smith, Ryan’s childhood best friend, died of a drug overdose in the back of a 2000 Subaru Legacy.

Ryan’s breathing hitched and he set the plastic bag down on the countertop next to the yellow mug.

Brendon was even trickier than Ryan had let himself believe.

He left the bag on the countertop, his body going to autopilot as he put back the yellow mug and grabbed the one he had found the coke behind.

Ryan took a spoon and served up the soup. He left the rest of the soup on the stove at a low simmer.

He went back to Brendon’s room, finding that the boy had thrown the covers off himself.

His skin looked clammy as he looked back up at Ryan and sipped on his tea.

Ryan wordlessly swapped mugs with the boy. He held the tea while Brendon took the soup into his hands and took a spoonful, eating a carrot bite.

“How old are you, Brendon?” Ryan asked softly. 

He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor. All he could think about was the little white bag in the kitchen. He hoped there weren’t any more, or other kinds of drugs.

Ryan’s throat tightened as he remembered the grief of his loss.

Spencer had only been eighteen years old when he passed away. Three weeks before his birthday.

“Twenty one.” Brendon’s voice sounds uneasy under the rasp of sickness.

Ryan doesn’t buy into it.

“I’m twenty one. You’ve gotta be younger than me.” He says, disbelieving.

He looks over, and Brendon is staring into his soup. His expression is blank. Ryan doesn’t know what it means.

“Why do you want to know?” The boy moves the cough drop around his mouth.

He pulls a knee up to his chest and grunts a little.

“Because if you’re in your twenties doing cocaine, I think it’s the last call to tell you to stop before it ruins you.” Ryan meets Brendon’s eyes, and the corner of the boy’s mouth twitches into a frown.

There’s silence between them for a few minutes. Brendon stirs around his soup and Ryan lets the smell of chamomile tea waft up into his nose.

“Eighteen.” Brendon whispers breathily. “I sell drugs and trade drugs sometimes. I never take it for myself, though. I only smoke and drink on occasion.” He says and stuffs a few noodles into his mouth.

“Sex is one thing. Drugs, though? If you’re not careful you could be selling someone their death.” Ryan warns with no coldness to his tone.

He doesn’t want Brendon to make a mistake out of naivety and end up accidentally killing someone.

“I know the danger, Ryan. I used to take drugs myself until I quit. I only do weed now.” The boy swallows. “If I had any other choice I would do something else. It’s quick, easy money. I need that right now.”

Ryan understands. It’s desperation. It’s survival.

Fuck, they really weren’t so different at all.

They were three years apart. Brendon definitely was fresh out of school and now a part time stripper and drug dealer.

A teen prostitute.

Ryan knew he shouldn’t pity Brendon, but he did. He wasn’t coming to sweep up the boy and save him from his life although he wished he could.

This was Brendon’s choice.

“I could help you look for jobs. I have some connections and I know some good spots that are hiring.” Ryan offered sheepishly, not wanting to overstep boundaries.

Brendon smiled a little and reached out for his tea.

Ryan passed him the cup and let him sip on it to soothe his throat.

“Thank you. I’m happy for the help... It’s harder for me to get a job though. I go to college. I don’t have the time to work. All the money I make off- of those things, it all goes to my education and my rent. I need as much money I can get for the littlest time possible.”

Suddenly everything made sense to Ryan.

He stares at the crumpled bedsheets as Brendon coughs some more.

“Are you upset?” The boy’s voice is soft and feels unsure.

“I’m okay.” Ryan breathes out softly, looking over at Brendon, smiling reassuringly. “I support you no matter what.

Brendon’s smile reaches his eyes. Nothing is ever prettier.


	10. New Perspective

Ryan sat on the edge of Brendon’s bed and scratched his chin.

Brendon had the flu, as they both had suspected.

He received a shot at the doctor’s office and they directed him to pump himself full of antibiotics twice a day.

It seemed easy enough.

Ryan had paid for Brendon’s care and told him not to sweat it. Just sweat out the fever.

He had his laptop in his lap and he typed away on his computer, doing what work he could while he cared for the boy.

Brendon spent the past ten minutes or so in his bathroom with the door closed. The sounds of wrenching and vomiting echoed through the bathroom.

Ryan made a face, wishing the boy didn’t have to be in so much pain.

He was finishing typing up his last email for the day when Brendon came back into the room. He wiped his wet hands over his face and whimpered as he crawled back into bed.

Ryan looked back and gently brushed his fingertips over the other male’s thigh, watching him curl up in the fetal position.

He scooted farther up on the bed, leaning back against the headboard and gently running his hand up and down Brendon’s back.

“I’m so sorry.” Ryan whispered.

Brendon shivered and clutched his stomach, making a soft noise in response.

The boy had been reduced to communication via noises after the doctor gave him the flu shot. He’d been uncomfortable and in a lot more pain because he had to do a lot of sitting up and walking to get to the doctor’s office.

Brendon had complained of dizziness and was spitting up stomach acid the whole way there and back.

Ryan wasn’t disgusted per se, he just felt awful seeing the boy in such a bad way.

He had managed to get Brendon to eat some crackers when they got back to the apartment, but it was of little use now.

Ryan sent the email and then set his laptop aside to give his attention back to the miserable boy.

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked, not wanting to stand by and watch Brendon suffer if he could help it.

Brendon shook his head and sniffled.

Ryan knew the nausea had gotten worse, but at least his breathing had loosened up a little from the tea and cough drops.

“You’ve- you're done plenty already.” The boy stammered out, his teeth a little chattery as he shivered.

Ryan presses the back of his hand to Brendon’s sweaty forehead. The boy was burning up.

“I’ll be right back.” Ryan said as he set his laptop aside to get up off the bed.

Brendon squirmed a little as Ryan left the bed to go to the kitchen. He didn’t stare at the white bag still on the countertop as he crossed over to the freezer.

He grabbed an ice pack off the bottom shelf and went back to Brendon’s room with it.

Ryan sat back down where he had been and looked down at the boy, who had closed his eyes and was trembling.

He put the ice pack on Brendon’s forehead. He knew if the fever increased, the other male could get heat exhaustion, or even a stroke or seizure.

Brendon gasped in what sounded like a noise of protest, but Ryan knew it was for his own good.

Ryan watched as the boy put his hand over the ice pack and held it in place.

Management of the symptoms was necessary. He had to sweat out the illness.

Ryan picked up his laptop and started browsing apartment listings while Brendon tried to rest.

The boy needed to recuperate. His body had been under so much strain and stress. He needed sleep. He needed to be removed from the things that worried him so he could get his health back.

Ryan knew these things, and he stayed with him until the sunset peaked through the blinds. He’d scroll and scroll until his head hurt and his wallet seemed to turn to dust in his back pocket as he considered the prices in comparison to his wages.

He knew he should ask for a raise. He’d been working for the same company in the same position for long enough. 

Ryan never took sick days because he’d still go to work even if he had a cold and he never went on vacations.

There was a little bit of stirring beside him, so he looked over at Brendon who had woke up from his nap.

The boy’s eyes fluttered open. He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes. 

“Hi there.” Ryan smiled and gently cupped the other male’s cheek.

Brendon looked up, the sparkle in his eyes slowly returning. He had to keep his eyes fixated on Ryan for a moment before he smiled back, burying his face half in the pillow.

“Hey.” Brendon murmured softly and inhaled deeply.

“Sleep well?”

“Mm. Yeah.”

Ryan thought the other male sounded a lot better than he’d been. He sounded more able to breathe, although his voice was still a bit scratchy.

“You’re still here.” Brendon let his hand go to Ryan’s thigh, gently holding on there.

“I’m still here.” Ryan echoed, looking down at Brendon adoringly. “I’m staying until you’re well enough to feel good on your own.”

The boy smiled a little bigger. His eyes were half lidded as he looked over at Ryan’s computer screen.

“What’s that?” He nodded to the laptop.

“Apartment listings.” Ryan looked back at his screen and decided to close out the tab.

He had searched enough for the day, he was giving himself a headache.

“I have a roommate now, but I’m... I have to move out soon. Next month, actually. I still have a lot of looking to do and not many options.”

Brendon hummed in response, tugging at Ryan’s shirt, pulling him closer.

Ryan shut off his laptop and set it aside where it couldn’t be kicked off the bed.

He laid down beside Brendon, getting at eye level with the other male as his body pressed to the soft sheets.

“Hey.” The boy breathed out, looking into Ryan’s eyes and curling up in a satisfied manner.

“Hello.” Ryan put his arm around Brendon’s shoulders. “Feeling better?”

“A little, yeah.” Brendon had stopped sweating and now was only mildly clammy.

He placed his hand on Ryan’s shirt and breathed easy.

“I’m glad.” 

Ryan looked deep into Brendon’s dark eyes. He could still see the discomfort and pain that came with the sickness, it would take time to heal, but he also saw that the boy was so much better than he had been.

The color had returned to his face now that he was rested. His lips were also moist and pink now in comparison to how chapped they were at the doctor’s office.

Ryan noticed things like that.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Brendon murmured shyly.

His cheeks and nose were flushed a soft shade of pink.

“What do you mean?” Ryan chuckled and his face screwed up in confusion. 

“You’re still here.” The boy clarified, squirming a little closer. “Isn’t there somewhere else you’d rather be?”

Ryan was still confused, but he shook his head. “I want to be with you.”

Brendon’s lips smacked together and he pouted his bottom lip out a little bit.

“Why me? I’m sick. I’m no fun when I’m sick.”

Ryan shrugged. “I care for you.”

The boy wiped the silly look off his face, and for a moment was unreadable. 

He sighed softly and then shifted closer until they were both pressed to each other, their legs and arms tangled up as Brendon buried his face in Ryan’s neck.

“Why do you care for me, Ry?” The boy pressed further.

Ryan looked down at Brendon, wondering why all these questions were coming to him.

Nonetheless, he wasn’t going to leave the other male wondering.

“I don’t know.” Ryan answered, feeling like it was a mixture of things. “I haven’t ever really had someone like you in my life before. I’ve tried dating a couple times and had my heart broken, but I was young and didn’t know any better. With you I feel a strong connection I can’t really make sense of. I just know you’re something special.”

Brendon breathed against Ryan’s skin. Ryan felt the boy shiver against his neck.

“You really think I’m special?”

Ryan chuckled and answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Of course you are.”

Brendon seemed to melt at this, because he started squeezing Ryan’s middle and he exhaled shakily against his collarbone.

“Hey Ry?”

“Hm?”

The boy rubbed his hand up and down Ryan’s back before pulling away a little to look back to his eyes.

“I wanna take a shower.” Brendon murmured softly, most likely yucky and clammy from not being able to shower for the past couple of days. “Shower with me?” He held his bottom lip between his teeth and looked at Ryan with hopeful eyes.

“Sure.” Ryan agreed, pulling away as Brendon let him go.

He stood up and offered the other male assistance getting up.

The boy didn’t make any noises of pain this time. His previously nauseated expression seemed to have subsided as Ryan pulled him upright. He coughed a little, but Ryan felt like he was going to be okay.

He smiled at Ryan and leaned into him as he got up on his feet.

Ryan slowly guided him out of the room with Brendon’s arm over his shoulder, just in case.

They went to the bathroom and Ryan sat the other male down on the toilet seat while he turned on the water and let it warm up in the tub.

“I really hope I can go in to work tomorrow.” Brendon sighed softly. “I’ll be fucked if I have to take any more days off.”

“You’ll be fucked if you don’t take off the time and rest.” Ryan countered, starting to unbutton his shirt. “You need to treat yourself better. All this stress you have yourself under is probably why you got sick in the first place.” 

Brendon was quiet and looked to be deep in thought at this.

Ryan stripped himself and felt the water. He decided it was warm enough and helped Brendon back up to his feet.

The boy shed his pajama pants and weakly stepped into the tub with Ryan’s help.

Ryan closed the shower curtain behind them, and then they were pressed together, Brendon in his arms.

Brendon looked up and smiled. He stood under the stream of water and had his arms around Ryan’s shoulders.

“How are you feeling?” Ryan whispered gently.

“Okay right now.” The boy answered. A small cough escaped him. “I wanna sit down though.”

Ryan made an agreeing sound and helped lower Brendon to sit in the tub. He got on his knees with the other male and let him sit leaning against the back of the tub.

“Better?”

“Better.” Brendon smiled warmly.

Ryan decided to do something to help the boy clean up, so he grabbed a two-in-one conditioner and shampoo.

He poured it into his hand, and it smelled of watermelon. Ryan held out his hands after he rubbed them together, asking permission, and Brendon nodded so he thrust his hands forward and started rubbing the soap in the boy’s hair.

Brendon shut his eyes and grinned, curled up with his knees held securely to his chest.

They were both naked. Together. In the bathtub, and somehow they were both comfortable like that.

In Ryan’s dreams he thought he’d be eyeing Brendon up in a situation like this, but with the sickness being an issue, it hadn’t even entered his mind that it should be weird they were both together this way.

He rubbed around the soap until Brendon’s hair was completely lathered up. 

Ryan scooted back a little in the tub so the boy could lean forward under the spray of water, letting Ryan help rinse out the soap.

He got all squeaky cleaned and then also applied a creamy soap to his face to let it sit for a minute.

“You want me to...” Brendon started, gesturing to the shampoo bottle, wanting to return the favor.

“No, no. I can do it just fine.” Ryan took it into his own hands and washed his hair by himself.

Brendon watched, and Ryan didn’t mind. There was a different kind of intimacy to it, one Ryan couldn’t explain.

Moments like this never happened. He almost never wanted it to end.

Ryan rinsed the pink bubbles out of his hair, then he helped the other male, too. He lovingly ran his hands over Brendon’s face, washing away the face scrub.

He kissed the boy’s nose when he was done with it, smiling ear to ear.

Ryan would’ve kissed Brendon if the boy’s mouth didn’t stink of puke, so he simply smiled and Brendon interlaced their fingers for a moment.

Ryan eventually pulled out the body wash, letting Brendon clean himself because he didn’t want to be too invasive.

He also minded his own need for washing. He scrubbed his armpits and his hand brushed over his crotch before he realized-

“Oh.” Brendons voice came out small, sounding a tiny bit surprised, and his eyes widened ever so slightly.

Ryan looked down and his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “Oh.” He echoed.

Brendon bit his bottom lip, leaning forward ever so slightly. “I... I could help.” He started to edge a bit closer, hesitantly beginning to reach out.

“No, no, no. It’s fine. Really, please, just leave it be it’ll go away.” Ryan stumbled awkwardly with his words.

He had one chance to do something right, and his body was his own worst enemy.

“Are you sure...” The boy mumbled. “I can take care of it-“

“No, Brendon.” Ryan said firmly, making the lack of consent clear. “You’re sick. I’m not in this for my own benefit. Get better first, but until then, there will be none of that.”

Brendon appeared a little shocked, but he respectfully backed off.

Ryan made sure they were both completely rinsed before he shut off the water. He got out first to grab a towel, putting it over Brendon’s shoulders before lifting him out of the tub.

Brendon beamed as Ryan helped him up and assisted in drying him.

Ryan was still butt naked, but he didn’t care. He momentarily put the towel over the boy’s head to dry his hair.

He heard the other male giggle a little under the towel. Ryan felt like a mother drying her child after a bath.

Once they were mostly dry, Brendon had taken his antibiotics and brushed his teeth before he went to bed with Ryan.

They curled up together until they fit just right. The covers hung low on their hips, but the only warmth they needed was each other.

Ryan was pressed against Brendon’s back. The boy’s head rested on his arm and his other arm was around his chest instead of his stomach, knowing he still needed to be delicate with the boy.

“Ry?” Brendon murmured softly a few minutes after he turned off the beside light.

“Yeah?”

The boy put his arm over the one Ryan held around his chest. Brendon held his hand and squeezed gently.

“You should move in with me.” He suggested in a soft tone.

Ryan paused to consider this. Should he really do it? It was so soon in their relationship, they hadn’t even really established they were in one yet. 

They knew so little about each other. Ryan worried he was rushing things with Brendon.

“You don’t have to.” The boy sighed. “It might be good for us, though. Don’t you think? It would be nice to- to have you around. Here. With me. You need somewhere to go, and this place can fit two.”

Ryan opened his mouth, closed it, and seriously considered. He didn’t even know if he was ready. He was still, for the most part, in the closet.

Even though Brendon was with him sometimes he felt so far away. Sometimes it was as if he was from a totally different world.

Could Ryan be okay with falling in love with a... A boy like Brendon?

“Think about it?” The boy offered, too weak to persist. “You have until next month. We have plenty of time to get to know each other between now and then.”

Ryan nodded and buried his face in Brendon’s soft hair. “I’ll think about it.”

The boy smiled, closing his eyes and pushing his bare ass back against Ryan’s hips.

“M’kay.” He breathed out. “Hey Ry?”

Ryan grinned because the nickname sounded better and better every time he heard it from Brendon. 

“Hm?”

Brendon cleared his throat and nuzzled into Ryan’s arm.

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

Ryan started to let his thumb trace circles over the back of Brendon’s hand. 

He knew he was damned if he fell in love with the boy. He didn’t know what he would do if he ever got jealous, or Brendon got caught. 

It’s a risky business, love is.

Ryan knew though that if he never tried, he’d never know.

Brendon was special and he knew that.

“Yes.” 

The boy’s smile went as far as it could go. He held Ryan’s hand tight as he felt himself starting to drift off.

“Goodnight, Ry. My boyfriend.” Brendon whispered lovingly.

“Goodnight, B. Sleep well.” Ryan leaned forward to whisper. “I love you, baby.”


	11. Seasons/Things Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah wuh ooh I updated  
Life happens shit happens but I came back around with a new chapter to hold y’all over until I figure out where tf all this going  
Enjoy

Brendon was digging through the box, looking pensive as he sat on the couch.

He pulled out all sorts of shit Ryan hadn’t exactly seen before.

Bondage harnesses, straps, chains, toys, and all the like.

Brendon laid them all out one by one, looking at them closely.

“What’s that?” Ryan asked curiously as he pointed to a chain harness.

The chains were all connected to a ring that was supposed to go over the center of the chest.

“Here, see for yourself.” Brendon urged with a grin as he handed over the chain set.

The chains clinked together as Ryan turned them around in his hands.

“Where do you even get this shit?” He noticed the chain was slightly rusted over on a few chain links.

“eBay-” Brendon started, then paused, biting on his bottom lip.

Ryan looked over and met Brendon’s eyes. Both of them cracked into grins and started laughing.

Of all the prime sex shops in Las Vegas, Brendon still chose to order his kink trinkets online.

Brendon was giggling and shoving his face in a pillow while Ryan put his hand over his forehead.

“Fucking hell. eBay.” Ryan chuckled, shaking his head.

“Hey! To be fair, it’s cheaper okay. Because I’d totally go into one of those shops if I had the time.” Brendon threw the pillow at Ryan, who caught it.

“I think you’d be too pussy.” Ryan stuck his tongue out.

He knew Brendon was only pretending to be shocked, the boy’s jaw dropping and his eyes getting big before he started giggling again.

He’d been in a much better state since his recovery. Ryan had been loyally by his side for the five days it took him to get back to functional.

Brendon still carried some of the sickness in him, but he was building up strength and wasn’t contagious anymore.

“Ok, you know what?” Brendon raised his fist, and a dildo was enclosed in it.

Ryan pointed to the bent purple phallus, and they couldn’t stop fucking laughing.

“Okay, okay, maybe you’re right.” Brendon conceded. “I know I should be less shy about this but I’m not! I’m a person too.”

“Sure, Mr. Penis hand.” Ryan beamed, shaking his head as he forcibly removed the dildo from the boy’s grasp and threw it back in the box.

“It’s a harness, to answer your question.” Brendon pointed to the chains and then wiped away some laughter tears. “I think I’m gonna put that over an outfit. I’ll probably save it for my last ever act, though. They’re so pretty.”

He took back the chains and looked at the spot Ryan pointed out where there was rust. He went to the kitchen, presumably to find something that would clean it right off.

Brendon had been talking about quitting stripping and prostitution since they’d decided to become boyfriends.

He knew he couldn’t do it forever, and he had expressed his worry more about being considerate of Ryan. Both of them knew he had grown sick of giving so much of himself, anyways. Brendon needed to be freed to a new chapter in his life.

“Do you think we should, maybe, uh... Try this stuff out? To make sure it’s durable.” Ryan called from the couch and tried to hide his grin.

Brendon sprayed some rust cleaner on the harness and smiled.

“_Durable_. Oh, sure. Why not test the _durability_ of this good shit?” Brendon teased back. “We’ll see how well it holds up when we sixty nine.”

Ryan’s eyebrows nearly go up to his hairline. He liked the idea, although he sure as hell wouldn’t say so.

He heard the faucet running in the kitchen. He set aside the toys and harnesses in favor of getting up and going to curiously investigate the other male’s activities.

Ryan saw Brendon taking care to clean the harness.

He stepped up behind the boy, gently wrapping his arms around Brendon’s middle.

The boy seemed to melt into his embrace. He made a soft, happy noise as he leaned back a little in Ryan’s arms.

The three weekdays and whole weekend they spent together had brought Brendon closer to good health. Ryan was more than happy to have his boy back.

“I bet you’d look pretty in that.” Ryan purred against the shell of Brendon’s ear, then kissing the boy’s neck softly.

He felt Brendon tremble gently in his arms, blowing out a soft breath.

“I’d like to give it a try.”

Ryan smiles against the other male’s neck, and Brendon turns around in his arms.

The boy’s eyes seem to shine as Ryan stares deep into them. It’s like a magnetic force pulling him in until their lips crash together effortlessly.

Brendon’s hand goes to the back of Ryan’s neck, and their bodies are warm as they press together.

“I- _Ryan_.” Brendon purrs, breaking the kiss, their lips hovering.

“Hm?” Ryan nuzzles the boy and starts feeling up under his shirt.

“I... I need you to-“ Brendon’s voice cuts off as he launches forward for another starving kiss. “I need your help.”

Ryan closes his eyes and nods. He sighs softly as they untangle themselves from each other.

“Help me put that on?” The boy sheds his shirt.

He looks up with big puppy dog eyes, practically begging as a dog would too.

Ryan reaches out and touches Brendon’s chest. He feels the smooth, seamless skin that leads down to his ribs and his hips.

He bites on his bottom lip. The boy cocks his hips forward as Ryan’s hand travels down his happy trail to the waistband of his pajama pants.

Brendon sucks in a sharp breath. Ryan tugs then down so he’s left naked.

Their eyes meet and Brendon gives a comforting smile. They know it’s what they both want.

He turns, and Ryan definitely checks out his ass as he grabs the harness off the sink, starting to slide it over his head.

“Pull it down?” Brendon’s voice takes on the sultry softness Ryan knows it always does when he’s ready to have sex.

Ryan’s fingertips tremble some as he grabs the bottom chains, sliding them below until the ones farthest down barely brush Brendon’s knees.

The chains rest over the boy’s torso and arms. He would look like a slave boy if the chains were bigger, but the way they were designer-thin made him look more like an offering.

Ryan was ready to take Brendon’s love and give back all he had.

“What do you think?” Brendon stood a little lopsided and stepped into Ryan’s space, starting to touch around the material of Ryan’s shirt.

Ryan smiles. “It’s perfect.” His tongue poked out briefly as he wet his bottom lip.

He was stirred up with want and need for Brendon.

The boy kept touching at Ryan’s shirt, starting to get more grabby, tugging at the soft fabric.

“You don’t need these.” He protested.

Ryan silently agreed as he stripped down, half hard already.

Their clothes lay on the kitchen. Their eyes went big.

They both launched on each other at the same time.

Brendon landed in Ryan’s arms, and Ryan lifted him up, letting the boy wrap his legs around his waist.

Their mouths smacked together, wet and warm as their naked bodies pressed against each other.

Ryan ran his tongue over Brendon’s bottom lip, making the other male open up for a deep, passionate kiss.

The boy made a needy sound against Ryan’s mouth. It made Ryan’s breath hitch.

He turned them around until Brendon’s back gently collided with the kitchen wall. They started making out and grinding all needy.

“Mmh, fuck.” Brendon purred against Ryan’s lips, grabbing onto his shoulders.

Ryan got harder and harder until his erection nudged the other male’s inner thigh. He paused and gasped, looking into the boy’s eyes.

Brendon bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes half lidded and his cheeks rosy.

“I’ll get the lube.” Ryan murmured impatiently.

He couldn’t wait. The need and lust started to build up in him, leaving him breathless.

Ryan set Brendon back down and quickly went over to the box, digging around in it, almost turning the thing over in frustration to find what they needed.

“Got it.” Brendon came up behind Ryan, picking the lube bottle up off the couch with a sultry smile.

Ryan smirked and pulled the boy closer. He closed his eyes as their mouths pressed together yet again, his hands going straight down to Brendon’s hips.

The other male groaned a little and pressed their hips together. He pulled Ryan closer until the backs of his knees pressed into the couch.

Ryan grabbed Brendon’s ass as he slipped in some tongue, making the other male whine as he flipped their positions so he leaned back into the couch with the boy in his lap.

He kissed down the boy’s neck and started grinding. The chains brushed against their skin as they were pressed between them.

Ryan got excited knowing there would be marks all over both of them.

Brendon released a soft gasp and put his hands on Ryan’s shoulders. He let out a soft _”ah”_ as their erections rubbed together.

Ryan grabbed the lube and poured some on his fingers. He felt breathless as he lowered his hand over the other male’s ass.

“Yeah?”

Brendon nodded vigorously, leaning his forehead against Ryan’s and smiling.

“_Please,_ Ry.”

Who could say no when he sounded so desperate?

Ryan slowly slipped in his fingers. Brendon’s jaw dropped and he threw back his head. His eyebrows drew together and he sucked in a sharp breath.

“Oh fuck yes. Oh please. Oh fuck-“ Brendon choked out as he sank down, down, down on Ryan’s fingers.

That many days spent being sick rather than having sex made him come back in sexual overdrive.

Ryan could feel it, too.

He shoved his slick fingers around in Brendon, scissoring and crooking them until they pressed just right, making the boy squeak.

“Like that?” Ryan smirked a little as the boy rocked in his lap.

The chains had a shine to them as they rested on Brendon’s pale skin.

He was perfect. He was in over his head.

“Yes, please, _fuck_. Exactly like that.” The other male shivered and moaned.

Ryan worked a few fingers up to the knuckle until he was satisfied with the stretch. Then he pulled them out, making the boy hiss, and he started slicking himself up.

Brendon made a made little sound and buried his face in Ryan’s neck, kissing there and drooling a little.

Ryan turned them over so the boy was flat on his back.

He let go of his erection and traced over the other male’s body with his hands, moving under and over the chains.

Brendon lifted his hips, spreading his thighs, eager and willing.

Ryan grabbed his shaft and lined himself up.

“Please.” Brendon whimpered and squirmed, pulling one knee up to his chest.

Ryan gently pushed in. His eyes slipped shut and he softly moaned.

“Shit, babe. You’re so tight.” He praised.

He pressed in more, holding down on Brendon’s thigh to penetrate deep, deep, deep into the boy.

The other male’s head went back and he fucking whined.

Ryan started moving his hips, lowering himself on the other male and watching his blissful expressions.

“You’re gorgeous, B.” Ryan kissed Brendon’s chest.

The boy’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him down as he started roughly dragging out and shoving himself back in.

“Mmh...” The other male groaned from low in his chest.

Ryan grabbed onto Brendon’s shaft and started jerking him off with the movements of his hips.

The boy would arch his back every time Ryan thrusted into his prostate, mewling, his breath catching in his throat. His face screwed up in pleasure, driving Ryan fucking insane.

“Harder... Harder.” Brendon begged.

Ryan smirked, shivering with lust as he obeyed.

The boy started getting a whole lot noisier as Ryan fucked him deep and rough. He started clawing at Ryan’s back, murmuring “fuck, fuck, fuck-“ until it was all he could say.

Ryan’s teeth pressed together as he’d thrust up into Brendon. The sound of their skin clapping together made Ryan’s insides drip with heat.

Everything was hot, deep bliss.

“Mmm, fuck- gonna cum.” Ryan purred.

He moved his fist faster and was digging his knees into the couch cushion from the force of his thrusts.

Brendon could only make a low, intense pleasure sound at this.

Ryan panted, gasped, then almost choked as his insides drew up tighter and tighter.

“I’m gonna die-“ He said in a half-breath.

Brendon turned his head and nuzzled behind Ryan’s ear.

Ryan gave a few more hard thrusts until he hit orgasm. Brendon’s legs wrapped tightly around him as he spilled into the boy.

He cried out from the force of his climax. It rattled through his system like a roller coaster of hormones.

Ryan shook a little bit once he finished. He continued with the motions of his hand, pulling out with a hiss because he was too fucking sensitive to stay like that.

Brendon’s breathing was heavy as a little bit of cum dropped out of him.

“That’s so hot, fuck.” He mumbled and pushed his hips up. “Fuck. Close.”

His breathing started getting more urgent, so Ryan started to speed up his movements.

He corkscrewed his fist and rubbed the underside of Brendon’s shaft.

The boy moved his hand down to touch himself where Ryan had penetrated. He dipped two fingers into his wet warmth, pressing up his taint.

Then Brendon clenched up, nails digging deep into the other male’s back. He gasped and bit down behind Ryan’s ear, cum spilling over their knuckles as he climaxed.

He panted and then let out a heavy breath, releasing his death grip on Ryan when he finished.

They both lay there, just breathing and being close.

“Ry?” Brendon whimpered softly.

Ryan sighed and propped himself up on his elbows. They looked into eachother’s eyes, smiles across their lips.

“Hm?” Ryan mumbled.

Brendon squirmed a little. “The chain is digging into my shoulder.” He frowned.

Ryan pulled himself off of Brendon, looking down at the nice little mess they had made.

It was perfect all the same to him as he sat on his knees.

The boy sat up and adjusted the harness until it was more comfortable. He let out a slight cough in his upright position.

Ryan was reminded that Brendon was still weak from his previous sickness.

“I’m hungry.” Ryan stood up and went to the kitchen to grab a hand towel. “Order in pizza?”

“Sure.” Brendon agreed.

He squirmed and started to maneuver out of his harness while Ryan wet the hand towel. Then he came back with it and Brendon paused as he got his post-coitus wipe down.

“Still think it’s durable enough?” Ryan teased.

Brendon grinned back, and they both chuckled.

Ryan tossed the towel into the laundry basket in the hallway with the dirty sheets and he sat back down next to the boy.

“Durable enough.” Brendon pulled the chain harness off and looked at it some more before putting it in the box for later.

Ryan looked around and reached for his phone that was on a small table next to the couch. 

“Do you know where Hobo went?” He wondered, now realizing the presence of his dog was missing from the room.

“No.” Brendon leaned against the back of the couch. “Is she in our room?”

_Our room,_ Ryan thought fleetingly. It was nice to finally share a space with someone rather than live divided.

His things were always his things, never before did he live sharing everything with someone else.

“I’ll go look.” Ryan pet Brendon’s hair and kissed the top of his head before he went to go search for his beagle.

He checked the bedroom, turning on the light. A little head popped up from behind the blankets. Then a wagging tail.

“Hobbs.” Ryan chuckled.

She looked so adorable curled up on the bed.

“Looks like she’s made herself right at home.” Brendon said from beside Ryan, wrapping his arms around the other male’s middle from behind.

“Seems so.” Ryan reaches behind him to cup the boy’s cheek, looking back and smiling.

“I think you’ll both love it here.” Brendon closed his eyes and buried his face in Ryan’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Ryan agrees, looking back at his dog with a smile. “I think we will.”


End file.
